My Weight Loss Story

" I don't want to just live, I want to live at my best!
 -Cardio Coach (rip)

**Hello all! Before I tell the story , i wanted to say that I am not a doctor, dietitian, or fitness expert of any kind. Please consult with your physician before starting any weight loss program. Everything on this blog is my own opinion and what I've learned from experience.** 

My weight-loss adventure started after the birth of my son back in the summer of 2005. I let myself go big time. My starting weight was 278 lbs (possible more, that was my last recorded weight) and after talking about losing weight for so long, i decided it was time to start! I wanted to live and be comfortable in my own skin. 

There is one day in particular that I can remember crying and telling my husband that i wasn't happy with myself anymore! I was becoming a bitter person because of my weight and that isn't me, I LOVE life! I think that was my breaking point, my kids and husband are my whole world and I knew i had to make a change or else be miserable the rest of my 'short' life and make theirs miserable too. I was going through life pretending to be happy, when i was not; you can only pretend so long before its starts eating away at you!

So,in the middle of the summer i started walking every evening . At first it was for about 15mins(and that was hard back then) then, over time, i would eventually increase my distant to an hour a day. I also started watching what i ate, more veggies and fruit, less fast food, lots of lean meat and whole grains, the lbs started coming off! Then after 30lbs I was introduced to the ever so frustrating PLATEAU! I started doing some research and discovered that changing my exercise routine and paying a little more attention to what i was eating would help break it. I was too embarrassed to step foot in a gym, I decided to workout at home. I needed to increase the intensity of my workouts to help break my plateau. I ordered a step aerobic workout along with a step. That broke my first plateau. Adding in strength training help break my second plateau. I also discovered i wasn't eating enough calories when i joined weight watchers one year and highly recommend them to anyone struggling with their weight.(another great site I recommend is Besides dealing with plateaus i also had periods where i would just 'take a break' from the calorie counting. It can get madding, really..always counting calories, but i learned how & what to eat and I discovered balance that way. I lost most of my weight with in the first 18months. Every year i still drop some ultimate goal is to either weigh 150 or to be in a size 8 levi's.

So far(Dec,2011) I have slowly managed to lose 112lbs. and I'm in a 10/12 pants. I still have some more weight to lose before i can settle into maintaining. 

The keys to my weight loss *when I'm dieting* has been planning. I write down everything i eat. Ive found that planning my meals ahead of time really keeps me on track. Another Key to my success is my workouts. Most of the time i really look forward to them. I try to workout at least 4-5 times a week. They have become habit in my life. The feeling after a workout is one of the best feelings in the world. When I'm not dieting i try to practice portion control. After all, one brownie isn't going to hurt as bad as a whole pan;-)

I am not perfect by any means, i have my good days along with my bad. I deal with some depression/anxiety from time to time but have learned to keep it under control with exercise and with help from my doctor's suggested medication.( just recently started taking zoloft in November, 2011 ) 

I've learned to indulge in moderation, to be kind to myself, to not beat myself up when i have my slips every now and then . I will lose motivation at times but try to stay positive. I think keeping a positive attitude is crucial in losing weight and keeping it off. My husband, kids, family & friends have been so supportive through my weight loss journey. I love and look to them when I'm feeling down. Having support on your journey is another crucial part in losing weight. 

Thanks for your interest =)


And the journey continues.....

It's August, 15 of 2012. I started working in a bakery February of 2011 and even though I absolutely LOVE my job, its causing this tiny conflict with my former fat self. I want to EAT EVERYTHING!, since working at the bakery (and starting Zoloft in November of 2011 for anxiety and panic attacks) I've put on about 27lbs. Its dealing with it, but I've been beating around the bush about getting the extra weight off. I've went out and bought new work pants because my smaller ones were becoming "super sexy"(tight) and a pair of jeans.

Since gaining so much weight I have ventured off my healthy weight loss past and took a right turn onto 'Diet Pill Drive'! I've tried Adipex, and a few OTC ones and they all made me even crazier then I already am, so im back to eating healthy again. 

Dec 6th, 2012 update: So I now weigh 204 lbs and wearing a loose 14/16 pants size. Kinda miserable here, but I'm doing something about it! Yup!!! The day after thanksgiving I started working out every morning before work. I started cutting out the junk food (for the most part) and drinking my water. 

Now all I need is patience...because I have the will and the motivation. 

August 8th, 2013 update: It has now been almost a year since my first attempt to lose this extra weight I've put on. I wasted a lot of time taking diet pills, for some reason I think there is the 'perfect magic pill' out there and I just haven't found it yet. Two years ago I would have slapped myself in the face for this deranged thinking. There is no such a pill, just hard work and commitment. 

I'm now in a tight 16 and i'm miserable. Miserable to the point that its making my anxiety level up almost every day. I know its the weight. Its time to get going and start doing something about this! 

I joined a gym two months ago and really loving it. I still workout at home because I also love Cathe friedrich's home fitness workouts. Today I started a new journey. At some point in time all these 'starting' diet days will click something in my head and it will work, and I will be successful like I was before.

August 31st, 2014 Update:  Nothings changed since last year, im still overweight and struggling with it. I went into another depression earlier this year (around January ) and had to take meds again. The meds are working for my depression but its getting to be quit impossible to lose weight. One day I will go back to my former self. The person who loved working out and eating healthy without a thought of why.  That's what a mental Illness can do to you. But I'm hanging in there and will be successful again...when its my time =-)

February 24th, 2015 Update : Today I come to you in a tight size 18. Yes, I am officially 'very obese' again. I can sit here and explain  'why' all this happened. I can tell you about a tragic death in my family and how it still sends me to tears when I think about it. I can point my fingerat poor food choices & lack of exercise has lead to the weight gain. Antidepressants certianly didn't help with the weight gain.

But in the end, it really doesn't matter. What's happened has happened and I have to move forward.
It has been a year since I started taking medication for depression and with the support of my doctor, we are slowly weaning myself off it. If I start feeling 'off' again, well..I will go back on it., no biggie. But I can't let this disorder ruin my life. I have to see if I can live without the medication. The medication that I feel is causing the weight gain, in my opinion.

I'm taking things one day at a time right now. I'm looking into therapy for the anxiety and exercise for the depression. I can't seem to get the ball rolling with the exercise but I will. It just takes time.

April 15th, 2015 Update: I'm now medication free. I do feel anxiety creep in but I stop it in its tracks. When I feel myself feeling down I find something to lift my spirits. It isn't easy, but its not impossible. Its been a few weeks (about) since I've come off the medications completely. Oh and I also started seeing a counseler. I feel that his sessions along with just taking better care of myself will lead me on a path I have yet to discover. Contentment. 


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