Saturday, October 10, 2015

Saturday Morning Update

Good Morning,

I'm up early for work. I'm going to work a ten hour day instead of an eight hour day because I requested off Monday to be with my kids on their fall break and I won't be getting paid for it, I gotta make up the hours somehow. I worked a ten hour day yesterday too. Today's going to be a long day. But at least I have a lot to do so it should go by fast.

I'm excited to have the next three days off!! Not sure what I'm going to do? I know I will be getting some yard work done and house work as well. We went grocery shopping yesterday and got some meals to cook for the next three days. Since we are so busy we don't really get to cook a lot, it's mostly sandwiches, frozen meals, hot dogs...you know, easy stuff like that so I'm kinda looking forward to some home cooking. We bought stuff for chicken fajita's, slow cooker pot roast and vegetable soup.

Well, that's all I got. Have a great weekend (:


Friday, October 09, 2015

Same Old Sh*t

Morning,

I'm up early, getting ready for work. Well, at the present moment I'm in my pj's and sipping on coffee but work will follow soon after that. lol

Well, I went out and bought a notebook for counting calories, that was last week and I have yet to use it. I did do a circuit workout Tuesday and felt great afterwards I just need to do that more often.

After work yesterday I came home and basically pigged out on junk food. I can't be doing this because my pants will start getting tighter soon...sigh.

Today I'm going to try something new. Instead of coming home and eating junk, I'm going to come home and have a healthy snack then work off my stress with a workout. I need to make myself workout even if my feet are killing me.


Tuesday, October 06, 2015

Tuesday Mumbles

Good Morning, I'm home in my favorite clothes - my PJ's. teehee. I'm on the web surfing a little, scrolling through facebook and I have my TV tuned to a local news channel in the background. I heard a commercial for a Hospital that has a specializes in weight loss surgery. Of course it got my attention. I logged onto the website and did some research. The starting cost is kinda disappointing ( starting around $16,000) but what really hit me the wrong way was what I copy and pasted below from the Faqs tab:

Have people died from these surgeries?
Yes. There have been people who have died as a direct result of having weight loss surgery. This is unusual, but there is the risk of this happening.

 When I read that - I immediately thought it wasn't worth the risk. I thought about my kids and my husband, there is no way I would risk not being here with them. It would be hard to do it even if I had the money....

But here's my reality: I think about my weight everyday. I think about what I eat everyday. I think about working out now almost everyday. I think about it ALL really too much, I know I do - but it's because I care. And it's that caring that is keeping me from throwing in the towel completely. I do care and I will get my act together soon. I've been on my new medication now for about a month and I've noticed over the past two days that my depression has lifted even more. My anxiety is better. I'm having more positive thoughts now that I didn't before. I feel like I have more motivation and I'm starting to feel more like myself again which is a very nice feeling :)

But what I'm trying to figure out is how to lose weight this time? Ever since I started my weight loss journey back in 2005 I counted calories, thats how I was successful. But I simply can't bring myself to do it this time. Maybe I could just have a calorie limit for my meals? Example: 300 for breakfast, 400 for lunch 200/300 snack then a 400/500 calorie supper then a 200 calorie snack. That's around 1700 for the day...that would certainly get my weight loss going.

ok, I will keep ya'll updated. Have a great Tuesday.

Monday, October 05, 2015

Conquering My Fears

Morning,

It's a rainy Monday morning and I wish I could home and get some house work done but work awaits. Work is going to be crazy this week. Our store is doing a reset, which basically means they're moving things around again. Not really a big deal for the common customer I guess or even co-worker but when your job is to hang labels for the things that are being moved around it could be a f*cking nightmare! I will have to learn the location of everything again. But anyways...in the end it will be ok.

Speaking of nightmares, last night I had the craziest dream? We were living on a lake with crystal blue water ( that's not the nightmare, thats the 'dreaming' part haha) and my old lab, Cassie girl was in the back yard. Well I look out the window and see her swimming in the lake ... which isn't weird or anything but I also see a dark long shadow emerge from the water behind her and start following her. Well about that time my heart skips a beat and I dash down to the water's edge just in time to see her being swallowed by an alligator!! (btw, alligators don't swallow their victims whole, they rip them apart in chunks so that was odd).

So seeing how my dog just got swallowed by a alligator I instantly turn into Rambo and pull out a huge knife, jump into the water and tackle the alligator while putting the knife through it's head. I then drag it on shore and cut it's belly open to find my dog....still alive and well. Then I look up to see more alligators looking at me. I proceed to terminate them too?

Yes, it's a crazy dream. And here's the kicker.... I'm terrified of alligators.  I mean really, really terrified of them. When I was a teenager my family went to the swamp to fish in south Ga and I stayed at my cousin's house because I didn't want to go around the alligators...that's how scared I am of them.

In the dream I conquered my fears. Pretty cool huh?




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