Friday, August 14, 2015

A Goal In Mind




Morning

I don't have a lot of time here but I wanted to pop in and say hey! I fell off my healthy eating wagon yesterday, it wasn't pretty. I guess the stress of learning my new position finally got to me ( at least thats what I'm going with). I told DH that I need a goal or a some kind of date in mind to keep me focused.

We got married 14 years ago. This coming up April will be 15 years. We didn't have a wedding, we just went to the court house and said our vows. So I really want to have some pictures taken on my next anniversary. I want to pick out a wedding dress and have my hubby in a tuxedo. I want to have a small ceremony and renew our vows.

April is a little over 8 months away. I would really love to lose about 50 lbs by then. Now that I'm learning my new job and I'm not around any delicious deli temptations I feel like I can do it.

After work today or tomorrow I plan on pulling my elliptical into the living room so I can watch TV while doing it. I also plan on opening up my Total Gym in my bedroom so I can hop on that after work as well.
I have a workout calendar in my living room and I will mark my workout days on there. Since it goes from 'Sunday - Saturday' I'm going to start working out this Sunday and just go from there.

I'm still going to log my food on myfitness pal, sigh...love that sight. But unless I'm starving I probably won't eat my exercise calories back because it's giving me 1820 right now.

Ok..enough chitter chatter. Have a good day.


Wednesday, August 12, 2015

First Third Shift Experience

Hey There,

Well, I had my first 3rd shift at work last night and it went pretty smoothly until I started hanging the new tags/signs. I hate to point my finger and blame somebody but my trainer didn't fully explain how to find the ad tags on the shelf, he just had me help him hang them. But in the end I did the best I could so I'm sure it could have been a lot worse.

The Scanning Coordinator came in at 3am to help. I was thankful because I felt like I was behind, she explained  that there was no reason for me to rush and once I understand how to hang the tags I will fly right through it. She helped a lot.

After work I came home and took a 4 hour nap and set my alarm for 4am, I woke up grumpy...just like last Wednesday. I don't think I said a word for like 30 minutes ( and I'm talker at home). Later in the after noon around 3 or so I had a little melt down. I kept saying how I hope what I did was 'good enough' and how I hope nobody wonders 'why I got the position'. Those thoughts cycled in my head and as I was talking to DH ( who was kinda like my counselor at the time) I started feeling a cry coming...so I cried. And I felt better.

I think the lesson for me here is to not let those nasty negative thoughts get the better of me. Because I got the position because I deserved it.

ok, still on my plan and feeling good.

laters


Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Good Morning

I'm off today but I work tonight and I'm kinda anxious about it, but I will be alright. I learned so much yesterday and I'm really liking my new position.

I had to take a drug test and background check yesterday. Every time you move to a new position in my store you have to take them. But what's exciting is that I had to write down my hourly wage and right next to my hourly wage there was a space for 'rate increase', so I'm waiting to see what he increases it too. We discussed it last week and  he told me two amounts. (he's so wishy washy) so I hope i get the higher one. Surely he will give me the higher one since my yearly evaluation is coming up and I'm suppose to get my yearly raise.

Work Gossip
So the guy I'm replacing had his last day at work yesterday. I heard that he made a comment when I went to use the scan gun. He said " are you going to let HER do that?" he was asking our lead. She said "yes, she has to learn how to do it?". She later told me what he said and how he was acting, like he was mad that im learning his job or something? I just kinda laughed and said that it was "his decision to leave? I mean it's not like I'm replacing him because he didn't do his job good enough?"
sigh
I told her that I stop trying to figure people out a long time ago. His actions have nothing to do with me, for whatever reason -  he was mad, and I honestly don't care. He's gone now....

MFP Talk
so today is my official first week of myfitnesspal and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I think once I get used to my new position at work my day will go smoother and I can concentrate more on my eating and exercise. I'm so proud of myself for sticking to it. I did change my activity level so I can have more calories. 1500 just wasn't enough, I felt deprived by the end of the day. Now im eating 1860...a lot more comfortable ( one pound a week).
I love the mfp bar-code scanning thing, it makes my journey so much easier. LOL

I'm thinking about doing a workout today. It will help my anxiety ( I'm very anxious today, gah) and maybe help with my nap later before my first 3rd shift by myself. ( there are night stockers there, but Im by myself with my job)

ok, Have a great day =)




Monday, August 10, 2015

Victory!!

Morning,

I decided to weigh in this morning and I'm down 4.4 lbs total. Yay, victory!

Ok, off to get ready for work. Just a quick check in. Maybe this week I can start adding in some walks.

Sunday, August 09, 2015

Sunday Update

Morning,
My favorite coffee cup

I'm off today, thank goodness. My new job has a set schedule which I LOVE. I work Thursday - Saturday, I'm off every Sunday and Tuesday, then I work a 3rd shift on Tuesday night (11-7) then I'm off on Wednesday. It's awesome to know when I will be working. The one 3rd shift position is the only CON so far.

It's also awesome because I'm not around food all day, I'm in the front office. So I have to pack my food or buy something...so there is less chances of eating junk.

Tuesday will be my first weigh in with MFP, I had a sneak peek at the scale this morning and I'm down 5lbs so far. It feels good.

I noticed after work, after the craziness of the day that my anxiety goes up? I want to nibble and the self doubt thoughts come.
"this is going to take a long time, why bother?"
"I just can't do this again, it's too hard." 
"one day of pigging out isn't going to matter anyway, I'm already fat"

And I almost give in to those impulse thoughts. It's hard not to, but I've been keeping up a good fight and so far and I'm proud of that.
The reality is that yes, it is going to take a long time. It took me 3 years to put it back on. And Yes, it is hard...but I've done it before? And despite what my crazy thoughts suggest, one day of pigging out does matter! It can't do a lot of damage in the grand total of calories for the week but it can do psychological damage to my healthy eating mindset. A mindset that is already fragile right now. I won't pig out or even think about it. However I'm allowing myself a meal every Tuesday just because I did it in the past and it worked. But I will need to log it.

So the anxiety after work can easily be helped with a workout. After work is the perfect time to workout, but I don't want to put too much on my plate at one time. Right now I'm getting used to logging food and my new job position is A LOT to take in. I mean, it's a lot of paper work and I'm learning how to navigate my way through a Scanning Gun, I'm dealing with department managers and the store manager for that matter. It's just a lot right now.
But a walk maybe a few days a week is a good start. And it will help relieve some of the stress too.  I haven't started doing it yet but I think about it everyday. I just don't want to get overwhelmed at this point because I want to be successful.

ok, I can't wait to step on the scale Tuesday with an update =) Oh and that picture is pretty self explanatory...I new coffee cup with my sign, Scorpio. The words are so true ....teehee

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