Friday, June 05, 2015

So Here's The Thing


Im off today, tomorrow and Sunday and we're going to the BEACH BABY YEAH!

Yesterday I intended on walking after work - didn't happen
Yesterday I intended on eating healthy - didn't happen
today I intend on eating healthy - Um, I'm on vacation...who cares?

Here's the thing guys... I'm fat and I will be fat when I return Sunday. So I'm not going to stress about food or my fat but. I'm going to have fun. I'm not going to eat like a piggy poo but I'm not going to deprive myself or worry about calories.

Yesterday we went shopping and my heart kept sinking ( well kinda) every time I pulled out a cutesy little shirt or dress, that they of course don't make in 'big girl' sizes. Where are all the cute close for big folks? I know there are plus size sites and shops out there but the prices are well above my budget. And I also wondered 'Why didn't I wear these cutesy clothes when I was small?" Ugh... I will this next time by george!!

I was telling my husband last night how excited I am to get this phentermine out of my system and to start working on my workouts again. Thats what I need to focus on everyday, getting that workout in. I miss Cathe's workouts ( Cathe Friedrich) and I have a ton of hers. I miss the soreness after a weight workout.

Ok, off to get ready for our trip. sorry if there are any typo's. I don't have time to proof read.

Thursday, June 04, 2015

What I Want 6/4/2015

Good Morning,

Last night I slept a little better, still woke up a few times but I was able to go back to sleep. I'm up early for work but then it's adios until Monday, Yay! Yep, we are headed to the beach for the next three days. I'm so excited!!

Awwwww, some peace and quiet for a change :D

So, I've decided to slowly taper off the phentermine. The process will take 11 days. Yup, it's working but the cons are out weighing the pro's at this point. I'm tapering off it because I don't want to go through harsh withdraw symptoms by stopping suddenly,  I'm honestly looking forward to it.

When I first started the pill I wanted a boost in my weight loss, well I would say 15lbs is a boost wouldn't you? Besides, I'm scared it's damaging my heart and nervous system, not to mention the effects its having on the chemicals in my brain ( a very sensitive area for this girl, gesh, I just came off wellbutrin prior to taking this) I feel its time for me to finish this by myself.

What's next?  

ME, GETTING BACK TO MY OLD SELF AGAIN!! The person I was when I started this blog. The person who came on here and was kicking ass with workouts and not bitching about her job. I'm ok with my job now, it's just a job...but I want to be a hot mama again!!!!

Wednesday, June 03, 2015

Quick Update

I have so much that I want to say this morning but I don't have time. I have to be at work in about 25 minutes.

In short, I had a spontaneous interview yesterday at another grocery store. They called me while I was at work to come in 3 hours later.  It's THE grocery store I want to work at. But unfortunately they only hire in part-time workers. And the pay was ridiculous...less than what I make now. The interviewer basically told me that I would have to work my way up all over again. She did say when I get ready to quit my current job to come and talk to her.

Bummer though.

Also, I have another interview next Wednesday at a hospital for patient registration. It would be awesome if I got that job...but they only hire in part time too. I could work both my job and that job until I get full time? Thats if I get it of course.

anyway...gotta go

Monday, June 01, 2015

Ever Read Past Post?


I've been up since 6:30 this morning, I kinda tossed and turned when my eye's popped open at 6 so I tried to sleep longer.

I started going back to the first post in my blog yesterday. This morning I read over most of 2010 & 2011. Its interesting to see how much I've changed since then?  I've matured a lot since then. I seemed very angry in every post, always expressing how tired I was and how my job was overwhelming me ( the bakery position ). I read through when I was first diagnosed with anxiety and started therapy. How my weight slowly started creeping back up and how it was driving me crazy. All the medications I was on and off of and how I noticed my workouts becoming less of a priority in my life.

It was interesting.

I think if I've learned anything from those post today is that everything happens for a reason and I'm not the same person I was back then. I'm grown so much! And when I worked in the bakery I was surround by very negative people...that was so obvious in my post. I'm glad I made the choice to leave it, even if I do miss my actual job there.

This morning I've been debating on going to a very well know high-end grocery store and talking to the store manager. Sigh...its so hard to make big decisions like this? I do like my job but desperately miss decorating cakes. IDK what to thinking about it.

August check-in

Morning, Are you having a good day? I hope you can say 'yes I am' cause I'm always having a good day when I'm not at work....