Monday, January 05, 2015

Emerged Butterfly

Good Morning,

Im off work today ( yahoo) I'm honestly getting to the point where I'm really disliking my job. Its not really the people, although I could spend a lot less time with certain ones their, i'm just getting tired of working with the public.

I had a very rough day yesterday at work. I got very frustrated with a few co-workers who were goofing off and talking while others worked. I had to constantly ask for help with customers in order for me to get my job done. This issue isn't anything new, the deli manager knows about it - but still does nothing. Why?

Anyways, I got a tip from a fellow co-worker about this warehouse that just opened up. I did a lot of research online before heading out to apply and it looks like a really respectable company that cares about their employee's. And according to my source, it's starting pay is more than what I make so its worth the trip to the DOL office to fill out an application. I just got back and now I'm waiting for that call for an interview. I will keep you guys updated as it all unfolds. Meanwhile it's back to work tomorrow.

My eating yesterday was good, considering the day I had. I stayed away from fried foods and sweets, ate pretty healthy. Baked chicken for supper with brown rice and sauteed veggies. I was so full!

Lately I have been comparing my previous weight loss journey and my current one. I can remember only one thing from my last journey <<Lose Weight and Lose it NOW>>. I was completely obsessed over the whole thing. I would constantly beat myself up over every little mishap or mistake (missing a workout, eating 50 calories over my daily limit) I lost a ton of weight but once I got close to goal I was still the same, unhappy person. I mean sure, I looked in the mirror and 'sometimes' liked what I saw but I would always pick at myself, just was never satisfied with my looks. I was self conscious and not confident. I just remember always being scared too back then I wasn't aware of my generalized anxiety disorder or depression. 

Today I am a different person. I love the way i look, I love how I feel when I eat healthy. I have energy and my mind is more clear. Before I wouldn't buy a lot of clothes simply because I lack the confidence to wear them. Now I want to wear those cute outfits and dresses. I just started wearing earrings even though I always had my ears pierced. The medication I take helps with my depression and anxiety. I am confident and have the ability to say whats on my mind ( most of the time, I mean Hey... if we said what was on our minds all the time we would probably be unemployed and single ).

My reasons for weight loss this time around is different. I just want to feel comfortable in my clothes, I want the pain in my feet/joints to go away. I want to be able to get up from the floor without a huge dread factor. LOL
 I want the real me to emerge from this obese cocoon its in. I will sprout my wings and fly again one day. I just have to believe that I can...thats all.

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