Saturday, April 19, 2014

Update 4/19/2014


Im procrastinating a workout. LOL What better place to go then here? 

So some updates...

My medication has had me on a very emotional ( raging bitch that cries a lot) roller coaster ride for about 2 weeks now. I started taking 2 pills oh hell, I don't know..A few days ago? Yesterday I went to work and was quiet all day...I didn't want to talk to anyone so I had to deal with people coming up and asking if there was something wrong? I just said im just having a quiet day and thanked then for their concern. Honestly...why do some people feel the need to talk all the time? I can tell it bothers them when I'm quiet,... they don't know what im thinking. 

I have been doing really well with my workouts and my eating is about 75% on the spot, which would explain my lack of weight loss. LOL 

No weight loss! Nope, not one measly, teenie tiny pound in over 3 weeks. its ok, I know my eating isn't perfect so I can't expect a miracle to happen. But you would think with all the workouts I do and running around at work I would drop some weight? IDK, my body is weird. I remember way back when - when I first lost the weight - I would drop like 4 lbs at once and for the rest of the month I would stall out...and very much like now, be questioning why. ok, so I just answered myself, LOL. I just need patience.  

I decided yesterday to tighten the belt a little and stick to the mfp calories. I know from past experience that if I eat healthy nutrient dense food then I won't be hungry, I will feel good and lose weight. I just have to stick to my guns and strengthen my will power. 

On the 26th I measure again, im hoping for a smaller me - will see.  
ok, now for that workout. 

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Talk to Doctor

Morning =)

I emailed my psych yesterday and told him about the panic attack and the side effects of the pills. This was his response::

we don't have a lot of option as to what to try.
if you feel comfortable doing so give it a couple of days more, if the same things happen stop the med.
you may also want to try half the dose
Try to keep the next appt its difficult trying to do it solely by email

So his guess is as good as mine?

I also talked to my husband and he said to just go ahead and finish the whole bottle and see how i'm doing after that.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Day # 63

Good Morning,

I'm off work today ( YAAHOO) and I plan on getting in a cardio workout and painting a picture. I want to test my artistic ability and paint more backgrounds. I never showed a pic of my last painting did I? I will have to create a page for my paintings =)

So I'm feeling a little better today. I didn't drink my 2nd cup of 1/2 decafe this morning and I don't feel as anxious. I started taking 2 pills of bupropion this morning. I really, REALLY hope that wasn't a mistake. This stuff has me on an emotional roller coaster ride - im just gonna ride it out for at least 6 weeks (or 2 months )until I know it's full effect on me. Im hoping the side effects will go away soon. Its suppose to be the only antidepressant that doesn't cause weight gain.

Speaking of Weight
No loss in weight for 2 weeks now. The scale has been hovering about 1 pound up from my lowest weight. In the past this means im fixing to get a 'whoosh' as I like to call it. A 2 or 3 lb weight loss at once. Lord I hope so, im getting sick of doing all this work with no weight loss. But on the other hand I can look in the mirror and see new muscle definition, I can tell im tightening up everywhere, its just going to take some time and I've got to remember that. Its only been 2 months. Im proud of myself for sticking to it even when I fall off the wagon

And I need to vent. 
So I work in a deli  with about 5 women in the mornings. They all talk about each other and it can get a little stressful. I don't like drama so I keep my mouth shut and just work. But lately they're all pissing me off. They keep requesting weekends off? I haven't had a Saturday or Sunday off in 4 weeks and I'm starting to get irritated about it. I told my husband yesterday that I plan on requesting  a Friday, Saturday and Sunday off soon or I won't get it. Its ridiculous!!

I had a girl approach me three weeks ago about Easter Sunday, it was suppose to be my Sunday off and she told me about some plans she had for it. ( we are suppose to be rotating Sundays off but I haven't seen the advantage of that yet) She asked me in the middle of me waiting on a customer and I was dumb founded. I said 'well, you've been here longer than I have so take it". But I kinda figured I would have this past Sunday off - WRONG.

Yep...its starting to piss me off big time.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Panic Attack

So my "just cause" post this morning was me having a panic attack. I was feeling all sorts of emotions but mostly panic. I felt like I was losing my mind...

After I got to work I started feeling better, and later on I felt almost normal again.

Now that I think about mind has been racing for alteast 3 days now so I guess it all came to a head this morning.

Just giving an update =)

Just Cause

I feel so mixed up this morning. I'm angry, sad, lonely and feeling discouraged. I hate how I feel...its got to be the medication. sigh. Just really hoping this will go away soon. My mind keeps racing and I can't think clearly.

Im hesitating on emailing my doctor because he will want me to come in and I can't afford it right now. My co-pay is 62$.

I hate taking my valium but I think today I will. I've got to push through this....

And I have to be at work in 30 minutes.

....guess its time to put on a happy face =(

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Roller Coaster Ride

Good Morning,

At this point im not even going to mention the fact that I'm up for work and don't want to go, I'm pretty sure from my previous post you get the point......*wink

So when I got home yesterday I was exhausted from work but I still pushed through a total gym workout. I had intended on doing a cardio as well but that didn't happen..I was beat. A hot shower felt great after that and I also felt those lovely endorphins too. My calories were great, around 1700.

Today will more than likely be a rest day or perhaps some cardio after work. If I have a bad day I will do a cardio.

Medication Update::::
So I started taking bupropion seven days ago and at first I had massive amounts of energy and just very up beat, then on the fourth day I started having these mood swings. Something would bother me, something stupid and my mood would just drop and my mind would start racing. ( people with anxiety know what im talking about, negative self talk)
 I'm going to keep taking this pill for at least 6 weeks. Wednesday I go up to 150mgs, twice the dose im taking now, so I'm kinda looking forward to that. One thing I do like about the pill is that its changing the way I think about food. All those terrible cravings are almost gone. I still get them...there just very weak.

August check-in

Morning, Are you having a good day? I hope you can say 'yes I am' cause I'm always having a good day when I'm not at work....