Thursday, December 04, 2014

Thursday's Thoughts

Morning,


I thought I would pop in for a bit with an update. I've got some thoughts stirring around in my head and I wanted to get them out ( I know, scary) Its the same old crap that I've been complaining about for the last 3 years. My weight and the fact that I don't do anything about it.

So, on my last post I talked about starting to live healthier, that has yet to happen ( hey, at least im honest right?) Wanna know why? ok... Well here is a brief example my day.

  •  I get up, drink my half decaffeinated coffee and jet off to work. Sometimes I pack my lunch, sometimes I don't. 
  • Work is 8 hours of auto-pilot blah. Lots of walking, bending, picking up heavy stuff and dish washing. And its continuous, never stopping. 
  • There is lots of food sitting around so the temptations are LOUD 
  • There is always some kind of  co-worker / customer drama everyday. 

 ( why don't you just find another job you ask? Well, im working on that. But my job is 2 miles from my house, I'm comfortable there and well, the pay isn't bad for the area. I would love to get out of the deli and away from the food, Im working on that too. I've been with this place since 2011 so I've got some seniority.) 

After work im tired, and just like.....oh I would say about 60% of every other american out there.... I reach for whats easy to eat and I park my butt on the couch after work. ( I know, shameful considering I used to be such a fitness/health nut)
Anyways, Getting back to my day...so lately my food choices are pizza, hot dogs, cheeseburgers and chips. (*hangs head down*)  Every now and then I will grab a salad, grilled chicken...veggies. But clearly I don't grab it often enough to have any effect on my waistline - is still plunging outward.(lol)

So here's the thing. Im getting sick of it. My family and I deserve better than this.

But I also know that once I decided to go with this, its a life style change...and for some reason I'm just not ready to do that. Im not ready to give up my junk food just yet. Maybe its my medication? Hell I don't know, im tired of analyzing it...I just know that I feel like im being pulled in two different directions. One direction is towards a salad and elliptical and the other..a pizza and movie.

There is one word that comes to mind when I feel the pull of both lifestyles - moderation. I can have both worlds, I just have to have the healthier one more.

SO - Hubby insists on joining a gym in January. But my gosh, at the rate were going I will be 10lbs heavier by then. But at least I know he's willing to join a gym with me, and he's willing to eat healthier with me. And you know what?  This time on my weight loss journey I won't be alone. 




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