Thursday, October 09, 2014

Its Just a Job

Morning,

For the past week I have been experiencing overwhelming anxiety. Tuesday I almost broke down at work after lunch but I talked myself though it. Yesterday I had this overwhelming feeling that I just didn't want to be there. I feel like my skin is crawling and my thoughts are racing. I'm paranoid about stupid things. I HATE feeling like this. By noon on Tuesday I had already taken the recommended amount of Valium prescribed by my doctor, and by 2pm I was taking another 2mgs....by 6pm another 2. All it did was calm my mind just a little but not enough for my body to calm down. I felt and still feel very tense.

 I keep thinking that I don't want to cook anymore and its my dominant thought right now. Its all I think about ( I cook in a deli). I don't understand why though? I didn't mind it at first then all of a sudden my skins crawling. Its so strange.
Bottom line - I'm at a lost of what to do?

I spoke to my manager and told her that I'm feeling burnt out on cooking and its causing my anxiety to come back. I also said that I would like to be doing something else by my next 1 year evaluation. Well, at the time I felt ok with cooking up until June of next year which is my evaluation, but now I don't. Sigh, guess I will have to talk to her again and just say by January I would like to be doing something else. At least there will be a light at the end of this crazy tunnel.

I take Wellbutrin and had for over a year now. It's been working great for my depression and at first it upset my anxiety then things mellowed out. I also take Valium ( 3mgs) every day for my anxiety. This combination of medication has worked very well... up until about 10 days ago.  Then all these crazy symptoms started erupting. I've thought about it and there three things that could be going on here. First, I'm no longer running to food when I feel stressed out. Secondly, I started taking a multivitamin about 2 weeks ago but its just a plain multi no extra energy or anything so why would it interact with my meds? And finally, maybe I just need to bump up my wellbutrin dosage?

I have an appointment with my doctor next Thursday, I'm looking forward to speaking with him.


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