Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Feeling Lost Again =(

Morning,

I know I've said all of this before but I'm having a moment here. This post may be a lot for folks to take in so thanks for reading.

I just feel so overwhelmed with my weight at this point that I feel lost. I honestly don't know what to do. Every time I try to count calories I fail, every time I say im going to start exercising again I fail, and meanwhile I'm slowly gaining more weight.

After looking at the Weight Watcher site I started talking to my husband about it. He reminded me that I did WWers twice before and would get frustrated with the whole point system and give up. ( but he said if I wanted to try it again that he didn't care, he will be supportive) Then I went on myfitnesspal ( a calorie counting website) and announced that I was starting again on there yesterday and I didn't even make it one day. I went to work and got stressed out and ended the day with a 4 servings pint of ben & jerry's ice cream. =(

Yesterday afternoon I made an appointment to a new weight loss clinic that I haven't been too. The cost is 69$ for your visit and thats including medication. Even now as I sit here I am trying to talk myself out of it. I don't know if I will go or not?
I went and looked up all the prescription strength medications on the market for weight loss and none of them sound good. They all have ridiculous side effects. I'm scared they will interact with the medications I'm on now. And something tells me that the doctors at this weight loss clinic will prescribe them to me even if I express my concerns with them. They just want my $.

So now I'm considering contacting my doctor (psychiatrist ) to ask him how to slowly come off my medications because I feel there making me gain weight again. Even though I feel emotionally stable and myself, I also think they are taking the motivation out of me.
 He will want me to come in and I just can't afford 47$ right now for him (even though I really like him and feel he understands me). But my insurance has changed and I don't get 30 mins with him anymore...just 15 and thats not long enough for a long discussion.

I feel confused, overwhelmed and sad. I don't know what to do =(  Maybe I'm having a panic attack or something? IDK

Thanks for reading

2 comments:

  1. First---Breathe, and slow it all down. Whatever you choose to do , remember it is one step at a time, one choice at a time. We tend to over restrict, diet with none of the foods we like in proper portions. There is no quick fix though the commercials for quick wt loss would make you think it and the idea of a pill sounds great , but come with a price. Those of us who are impulsive, tend towards binges etc probably do need the psych meds that are prescribed for us. It sounds like money is a big issue, so what have you done that works in the past that you can do right now to get you through the panic phase? What made you feel calmer ? Proactive? Like you had a handle on it?. Consider doing that just for today until you figure out what you need to do tomorrow. don't skip meals. Nourish yourself. Allow a treat so you don't go overboard. Most of all give yourself a break. this is a big issue for a lot of people. You are not alone. this is also a lifelong thing, not a quick fix. There are blogs that focus on that concept. A few on my list of blogs might help. Remember , Breathe, Slow down, one step at a time.

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  2. Thanks for your much needed comment PJ. The day got better when I went to work and I forgot about it.

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Thanks for reading!!