Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Hello There!!

Its been a few days since I've checked in so 'here I is' ;-)

It was an interesting day at work. When I pull up in my car and walk through the parking lot to the store a co-worker walks in with me and tells me about an argument she heard that happened in the Deli the day before ( oh good grief, again?) so I hear all about that. It was humorous to say the least. 

Then I arrive at the Deli and go in the back to get my apron and I hear about it again. Then the Deli Manager approaches me. So apparently  the cook is transferring to another store and there is an open spot for a full-time position. I was offered it this morning. (No, I don't like cooking and I expressed this too her and she said that once I get a routine down it will be easy...and I agree, it will.) So anyways,  I was so grateful to be offered and asked if I could talk it over with my hubby and give her an answer tomorrow. She said it would be fine. 

So the talk with the hubby was good. Im taking it =) I'm so excited to be full time at the Deli..its nice to have more money coming in and I will have my full time benefits too. so thats good news. I also said that I don't want the Bakery Manager position. My mind is made up on all that mess and I don't want any added stress. 

There is also one other thing that I wanted to share. 

So last night we went to see the Atlanta Braves play ( they won, yeahya) and I didn't get much sleep last night. This morning I put 1 tablespoon of regular coffee in with my decafe coffee and I will NEVER do that again. Boy oh boy... 

Around 10:30 my mind just started racing out of the blue, it was all I could do to get through the day. When I got home I had a panic attack in my bathroom. My hubby was home ( thankgoodness) and helped calm me down. It wasn't a bad one but there so scary it just seems like the end of the world is happening in that very moment. I could fill it building all day and I was cursing myself for drinking that regular coffee. 

When I have a panic attack it basically starts off as my mind racing, something triggers it. Like a memory or a negative thought. ( this morning it was about a my grandma, a co-worker was asking about her death) Then I get all tensed up, I start over thinking things, I get dizzy and have this crazy flashy vision, my heart races too. I think the worst symptom is that I have an extremely hard time focusing. Its all can do to have a conversation with somebody.  Luckily I already had Valium in my system so it wasn't too bad. more caffeine. Im going to cut it out completely. I've done it before and felt great..I will do it again. I've got to get my mind right if I'm ever going to be successful in weight loss or life really.  

Oh, and I've been a good girl on my diet. Today I started back to the lower carbs because well, I do feel better when I don't eat as much. Im not as bloated. 

laters...sorry for the typos.

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