Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Confession Time!

Yesterday was a treat meal day. I went to work and had a donut....then two, then came home and had some carrot cake then for supper we went to O'Charelys and it wasn't pretty.

Today is a fresh new start and I feel good about it. Time to get back on track, I've had the last three days to rest from workouts ( walked for 35 mins on Saturday but thats not to strenuous) so I should be nice and rested after work. Time to hit the gym, hard.

I almost want to set my calories lower today, but I will just listen to my body on that.

ok...time to bake some bread =}


Sunday, August 04, 2013

Can't Sleep :(

I went to bed earlier then usual because I'm working the donut shift at work this morning. Im suppose to be there around 3:30, but I think I will go in around 2:30.

My anxiety is driving me batty. Its better then it was last week but im still over thinking things. Sigh....

I'm looking forward to my workout after work this afternoon, (after a nap too lol, im not use to these night shift hours). I didn't workout yesterday, took a rest day. Today is a full body upper body workout. I think I will end it with a 30 minute cardio on the elliptical.

All this anxiety is making that munchie monster appear again. Im doing good though, just letting the thoughts of food come - and go - without acting on them. Its the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I mean, its no different then a smoker trying to quit or an alcoholic putting down that last drink.

anyways, mind over matter eh?

ok.  Its... *ahem*.... "Time to Make the Donuts"

Had a Light Bulb Moment Yesterday...

There was a time back when I was very heavy, close to 280lbs when I felt miserable. I was grumpy and just had this bitterness about me.

Well, while walking with my daughter yesterday at the park I realized that my grumpy ways have returned over the past few weeks. And its because of the weight gain, its almost like I'm mad at myself and its pulsating through me. This bitter, mean cold person is surfacing.

I don't like myself like this. I'm not like this (and surprisingly my husband AND boss know im not like this)

Today is day # 4 on my calorie log. Im not starving myself by any means, just watching what I eat and writing everything down. I think my highest was around 1900 and my lowest was the first day, around 1400. So a wide range of calories here. Which I think is great to confused the metabolism.

The most important thing for me is to not act on any thoughts about eating out or binge eating. The thoughts come out of now where...
Yesterday they came around supper time, I had a thought to eat out at a local Italian place that has amazing pizza but then my DH said no. Then I said no because I'm trying to lose weight. And you know, its weird , but after I said it 'out loud' this little feeling inside me settled into the reality that I wasn't going to eat out.

I know, intense stuff here, LOL. Talk about analyzing thoughts...

The workout rotation that im following is somehow easier then the do-it-myself rotation that I was doing. It has two rest days in there and wow...love rest days. 'Allowed' rest days ;-)

Laters....

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