Friday, January 25, 2013

Its Friday...

...and thats the only 'Title' I can come up with at the moment.

Off work today, thank goodness and I did an awesome workout this morning. 40min power walk + 60 mins weight lifting. I'm feeling very proud of that workout.

I've been off track the past few days. And I know why, its emotional.  For some reason Im starting to really hate my job? I even applied at two other places just see if they call me back. Of course I'm about 99% sure they couldn't  offer me a better position than im in now. I wouldn't think so anyway.

Sigh, maybe im just having a bad week? I dunno?

The last time I saw my doctor he prescribed another SSRI for anxiety and depression. I've still got the prescription in my purse. I've been thinking about it...maybe it will help with all these mixed emotions I keep having. I go from happy to pissed off in like a split second. I don't remember feeling like this when I was on Zoloft?  My husband says I've always been a very moody person so maybe im trying to fight who I am ?

anyways, while I'm pondering the meaning of life (lmao) Im proud to report that im still on my WWer plan today. I've been excellent all day and plan to fight like a warrior to stay on it the rest of the day. I went grocery shopping earlier and didn't buy anything that would temp me :) Thats a big start...

I can do it. I know I can!!

So far today I've had :
2pcs of whole wheat toast with 3egg whites, 1 serving of deli ham and 1/2 serving of cheese
coffee,banana
1 slice of whole wheat bread, 1 can of tuna in water, 1tbs light mayo, romaine salad with 2tbs Italian dressing. medium apple ( 0 points for fruit, yeahya)
not sure about supper...iv'e got about 15pts left for the day. Im not using my exercise points , I earned about 15 (activity I think they call it). Gonna try and make up some of this weeks damage.

ok..I will check back in tomorrow morning after my workout. I plan on doing a cardio...maybe some yoga if I have time.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Morning Thoughts

I've been off of Zoloft for about 5weeks now and im begining to learn more about myself everyday.

Yesterday I was by myself at the bakery from 10:30 am - 1:30 pm. I had a lot of baking that I was doing while taking care of customers ( I had maybe three total, so no big deal). I was very busy.  My manager was at a meeting for the day ( The reason why I was by myself). Well, I go home at 3:30 and I get a call from her around 4pm. She asked me why I didn't do two cake orders that were for today? She sounded mad although she never said anything mean to me. She did say that the customer was pretty upset and wanted the cake for free. I of course apologized to her not once but TWICE. She said it was 'ok'. But for her to call me off the clock didn't settle well with me for the rest of the night.  I just kept thinking "wow, I was by myself working my ass off and never sat down for a minute and she's going to have the nerve to call me about cake orders? "  My husband asked me If I would call her if she forgot to make a cake order...I said no but im not the boss, she has that privilege. Besides...she rarely makes cake orders - Its MY JOB.

sigh...

anyways...as you can see im still pissed off about it.

I need to learn how to let it go. To not let petty things like this get to me. I went to bed angry and woke up the same way...

I learned in therapy that I can't change the way people act towards me but I can change how I  react. Its not the end of the world if I forgot to make a cake. :)

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

FIRE BLAZING

I am ON FIRE this morning and I don't mean hot flashes, I mean I can feel my metabolism BLAZING. I have so much energy and just ready to get the work so I can kick some ass LOL.

Gotta be that full body weight lifting workout yesterday in combination with sleeping good/taking my multivitamin & eating good. My body always responds so well to weight lifting. Of course I peeked at the scale this morning and those four lbs I lost are right back in my muscle as water. I know my body so well....

I will measure as soon as I can get my DH too, that will give me my real results - not the scale. Meanwhile I've got my food packed for today:

Breakfast: Whole wheat English muffin, egg substitute and 1/2 smoked turkey sausage ( i like to put mustard on this, OMG so good)
Lunch: 3oz sauteed chicken breast on whole wheat bread, 1tbs light mayo ( Hellmans)  and 2cups of romaine lettuce with 2tbs light thousand island dressing.
snack: apple and coconut greek yogurt.

supper is going to be lean hamburger with some green beans and brown rice, my favorite :)

ok..off to work I go.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

WWer Update...

Weight Watchers went well yesterday, down 4lbs. I'm very happy with that. I don't expect the same # every week but its a very good start.

While I was at the meeting I started thinking 'you know, this is fun and all but 14$'s a week adds up to be close to 60$'s a month'. Thats a lot of money?  Maybe I will just go to the meetings every other week or once a month. I don't have to pay everytime I go...besides, I have a scale at home ....

Today is a whole body weight lifting workout. I may just crank up some tunes, jot down some reps and pump some iron for about an hour and be done with it LOL ( sounds funny* pump some iron * Ha) 

Update: Decided on Muscle max timesaver premix (Cathe)

This next weeks goals are to get in two full body weight lifting workouts + 3 days of cardio. 

Im off today and watching Sex and the City. Im on the first season right now...

ok, later :)

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Yesterday's mood forecast was 100% BIOOOTCH! 

Seriously, I came home from work and I just wanted to sit in-front of the tv and eat mindlessly.
 But I didn't instead I stayed on plan. (woot woot) Yeah, I came home and sat with my lip poked out most of the night and watched my family eat pizza but I never strayed from my plan. I thought about getting in a workout but my foot was hurting so bad. :(  besides, it was time for a rest day. My body deserved one :)

Work is such a pain in the @ss, I've been at this bakery for 2yrs and its starting to get old. I'm sick of my manager taking off weekends and basically whenever she wants. I'm sick of having to pick up the slack of lazy people that work there.  I wish I could quit or maybe only work 3 days a week, but then I would lose my position as assistant bakery manager ( a full time position in my eyes).

Yesterday I had 2 offers at work. One was for another assistant bakery manager position at another store...eye roll. The was a bakery manager position that would give me a total drive time of an hour a day. *ahem, no thanks.  Apparently two bakery's aren't doing so well so there moving people around and demoting them. I didn't think twice about both offers and turned them down. There is NO WAY IN HELL i would be a bakery manager right now ( or ever really) for one thing, they don't make enough $ to make it worth while. 2nd, everything is our responsibility -EVERYTHING. 3rd, I don't think I have the passion for it.  Here's my thinking, I have a raise coming up next month, when I get my review I plan on talking to the store manager and telling him that if he ever needs me to go to another department I will. If he ever needs me to step down from my position because there may be another bakery employee that wants to be a bakery manager...I will. I DON'T CARE.

My childeren and husband are my prioties...not this damn job. I watching my kids grow up right before my eyes, and I feel like I'm missing it. I work 5 days a week, 7/8 hours a day...I miss them :(.

I have a vacation coming up right after valentines day...and DAMN I can't wait. :)

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