Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I Want To Feel ALIVE Again!!

Good Morning!!  This maybe the cheesiest post I have ever written so if your not 'cheesy post friendly' then I suggest you click on to the next blog.

I wanted to start off by saying I feel great right now. I didn't sleep very well but from the little bit of sleep I did get I had a fabulous dream!! I dreamed about how great I used to feel a few years back when I worked part time and worked out almost everyday. I ate healthy and didn't suffer from depression. I had a little anxiety but didn't know what it was at the time and worked though it everyday. I loved what I saw in the mirror and the fact that I could wear a size 8 in levi's jeans. I ate healthy and craved healthy foods. The muscles in my biceps poked out and my legs were lean with muscles. Even my face looked lean...





I was healthy and well on my way to achieving the results I set out 5yrs before to achieve. To weigh 150 lbs ( my lowest was 164) and to have MUSCLES ( that was accomplished)

I MISS THAT FEELING! I WANT TO FEEL ALIVE AGAIN!

I've got to start loving myself again. Lately all that crosses my mind is " your a failure, You lost all that weight and kept it off and look at you now, 55 lbs gained and all you do is lay around and feel sorry for yourself " . Why? Its simple really, Stop gaining weight and reverse this self destruction. I've grown comfortable to eating junk and lazing around. Its time to stop and reverse it now or I will regret it for the rest of my life. I CAN NOT go back to that 278 lb women that was truly miserable. I WONT ALLOW IT.  YES, its going to take time. YES, its going to be hard...but its the only way to live MY life,...Happy! 

Stay tuned. Its November 26th 2013, two days before Thanksgiving so its not the right time to start a body transformation journey. But I could start mentally preparing myself for the greatness that is to come.

Today I plan on weight lifting...Like I used too. I want to sweat and grunt and make my muscles shake with failure. I will eat better than I did yesterday. Im not looking for perfection here, but a step in the right direction will work.
Its time for me to get back on the wagon!!! It's time for me to shine...

((( no time for typos so I hope there is none, :/ )))

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