Sunday, August 04, 2013

Had a Light Bulb Moment Yesterday...

There was a time back when I was very heavy, close to 280lbs when I felt miserable. I was grumpy and just had this bitterness about me.

Well, while walking with my daughter yesterday at the park I realized that my grumpy ways have returned over the past few weeks. And its because of the weight gain, its almost like I'm mad at myself and its pulsating through me. This bitter, mean cold person is surfacing.

I don't like myself like this. I'm not like this (and surprisingly my husband AND boss know im not like this)

Today is day # 4 on my calorie log. Im not starving myself by any means, just watching what I eat and writing everything down. I think my highest was around 1900 and my lowest was the first day, around 1400. So a wide range of calories here. Which I think is great to confused the metabolism.

The most important thing for me is to not act on any thoughts about eating out or binge eating. The thoughts come out of now where...
Yesterday they came around supper time, I had a thought to eat out at a local Italian place that has amazing pizza but then my DH said no. Then I said no because I'm trying to lose weight. And you know, its weird , but after I said it 'out loud' this little feeling inside me settled into the reality that I wasn't going to eat out.

I know, intense stuff here, LOL. Talk about analyzing thoughts...

The workout rotation that im following is somehow easier then the do-it-myself rotation that I was doing. It has two rest days in there and rest days. 'Allowed' rest days ;-)


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