Friday, March 02, 2012

Out With The Old ~ In With The New :D

“it takes as little as 10 days and as many 4 weeks to establish a new habit. It has to do with the amount of repetition. It’s all about establishing neuronal connections, the more reinforcement the faster it develops.”


Today my goals will be to stay on plan. Its that simple.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Don't Mind Me....

Today was a bad day. I woke up just in a very bithcy mood for some reason. Then I went to walmart and intentionally bought cheezits and pinwheels, things I KNOW i don't allow in the house. Ive been eating all day and im sure im pass the 3500 calories mark. :(  . Oh and did I mention that im up 15lbs? Yeah...my ass is getting bigger as I type this.....

And get this. I even went through the burger king window to order a cheeseburger and they weren't serving lunch yet. I looked at my watch and it was 10am? What in the hell was I doing ordering a cheeseburger at 10 O'clock in the morning?

sigh

When I feel like this I think im the only person in the world who has this problem and I know its not true. If you're reading this...pls leave me a message and let me know im not alone and there is no way im going any where near that scale for the next few days.

I know what started these bad behaviors too. I didn't feel like working out today and because I felt guilty I took it upon myself to binge. I gave myself an excuse to eat. Doesn't that sound crazy? I GAVE MYSELF AN EXCUSE TO EAT.

This madness has to stop. Its driving me up the wall. I've been to therapy, im taking medication for anxiety but still I'm doing the same things over an over again. The same questions keep running through my mind. "What am I doing wrong?" "Why do I deliberately hurt/punish myself over and over again?" " Do I deserve to lose weight?" " Am I a good person?" "what is stopping me from my goal?"

sigh, don't mind me. Just having a little episode right now.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Back to square one

Quick update

So I would love to come on here and say I've been perfect on my diet  and that I've lost more weight but I can't. After work Monday I totally binged. Came home and ate mini donuts and junk. Then Yesterday I was over about 600 calories.

This mornings weight was 179  GAAAAH

But I had a very good victory yesterday. DH wanted to go to the mall so we ate at the food court. I ordered a Chinese meal that came with fried rice, two meats and one side. I measured out about a 1/2 cup of rice and then maybe an ounce of each meat and ate half my egg roll. I was so proud of myself when I thew all the left over food away.

This is still a learning process for me. I think the most important thing is to not beat myself up when I slip...because im human and I can't expect to be perfect. I will get this weight off, eventually when the times right.

Yesterdays workout was Cathe's Muscle Max Upper body premix then I did some jazzercise for about 10 minutes then I was done. So tired...



I plan on  being good today through Sunday and then taking it easy Sunday and Monday.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Feeling Chatty

Good Morning

Im feeling pretty good this morning, can't complain. And it has nothing to do with the scale leaning in my favor (176, 6lbs down in three days) it has nothing to do with my awesome workout yesterday either.

..well, maybe it does =P

Todays going to be a very busy day at work! We are still short handed since the new girl is in training so I'm having to do two jobs in the bakery ( bake the mornings bread plus pull the expired product off the shelf and replace it) .... but then im off tomorrow. YAY! My manager meetings start Wednesday and from what I hear, there very boring. And everybody in my class will be male...not sure if I like that or not either. Oh well...it has to be done in order for me to become an assistant bakery manager. One day I will be running my own bakery :)

Have a great day. I will check back in tonight after the craziness of the day is over :)

Today my plan is to get in CLX burn circut 1 after work. Her workouts aren't too hard and there short but I still feel the burn.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Its day 2

After a long day at work ( started at 5am) I came home and got in a good workout. I was so physically tired that I almost tripped over  my step twice :/ , but I got it in. Cathe's 4DS LIS on a 8' step

My calories were around 1700. I really had no bad cravings at all. I think I was just too busy today to eat...lately I've been waiting until my stomach is aching before I eat anything.

Im going to bed now. Have a great night :)

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