Saturday, February 04, 2012

Yesterdays cravings turned into another all day eat-whaterver-the-hell-I-want day. Its like I give food all this power and it controls me. NO MORE! I control what goes in my mouth!

So, I made a decision for today, just today. (I'll worry about tomorrow, tomorrow)  I'm going to count calories!
 I get around 1780 if I want to lose a half a pound a week.

I have to have some kind of limit here or I go hog wild.

Therapy has taught me to not beat myself up about it. So that feeling isn't here today ( you know what feeling I'm talking about, the "I'm worthless or I can't do this" feeling that comes after a binge) I won't allow it to come.

I have all my food packed and I will get my mind off of food for today. It seems to take up way to much of my world.

My workouts have been going well. There not like they use to be, intense everyday, but I'm learning to balance them with my job. I aim for 4 workouts a week. If I can get my eating under control I will reach goal in no time and honestly, 1700 calories is a lot if you eat healthy.

Off to work I go.....

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Amy's Tired

1 Cinnamon swirl ( like a cinnamon biscuit)
2 apple fritters
large fry and small mocha frappe at McDonalds
2 slices of pizza + smart ones dessert
bowl of fruity pebbles

This is what I ate through out the day ( notice im speaking in past tense, therefor I'm not eating anything else!) All of this is summed up into one word JUNK! *J*U*N*K!!! And about 2200 calories....

This blog is becoming and I quote" Amy's bitching and moaning journey to a big fat butt! "

ok...Not really a big "Fat" butt but thats what I feel like when i eat like this. No nutrition at all, just empty calories. I didn't take a lunch today because I had SO MUCH to do. So I grabbed what was in front of me...and I work at a bakery - so thats my defense. =P. And I totally forgot about a balance bar that is super delicious that I have stashed in my locker AND purse. Grrrr.  At least I know that I can't eat like this everyday. I don't think I would want to anyway, I don't feel very good. My blood sugar has been going up and down all day. 

Anyways. Moving on.

So as I mentioned in an earlier post, I threw my scale away. And even though its driving me up a garden pipe not knowing what I weigh...I can honestly say. It doesn't matter! That's right! I have moved on from my obsession over the # on the scale and I'm going by how my pants fit. And right now there fitting about the same as they always have. Slightly-snug, but loose throughout the day. ;-)

I have a new obsession too. Fuzzy socks and pj bottoms  - oh my- I  wuv Them....

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Quick update

So my appointment with my therapist went well Friday. I did break down a little during our session. She really gets to the root of whats going on inside me. I mean....she's good, .....really good.

I haven't had any real urges to binge or over-eat since then. She explained how the process works in my head with the negative thoughts that turn into negative actions(binge eating). She also explained how I beat myself up too much and that also leads to binges.

She wants me to start flipping that negative thought process to a more positive one. For instance, when I say "I can't" or "My will power is gone" or "im just not good enough". She told me to learn how to  recognize those thoughts quickly and flip them around to a more positive thought like "I can" and "I do have the will power and I am good enough to be happy". Its all a mental game really.

Its just too bad I have to pay an 'expert' to tell me all of this =-P

Anyways. I got in four days of workouts last week too. Yeahya, happy dance :D

Be back later.....have a great day :)

August check-in

Morning, Are you having a good day? I hope you can say 'yes I am' cause I'm always having a good day when I'm not at work....