Wednesday, December 12, 2012

2nd OA Meeting

Hello, I know my last post wasn't very cheery but it was how I felt at the time. The OA (overeaters anonymous ) helped last night. I prayed on the way home from the meeting for the strength to get through whatever it is im going through. I honestly feel that Im experiencing anxiety and Zoloft isn't there to numb me anymore. I have to deal with my emotions now...and its something I haven't had to do in over a year.

In the meeting I broke down and cried. I talked about my recent over eating / binges and how I'm going to change. I mentioned working the 1st and 2nd of 12 steps
#1 We admitted we were powerless over food - that our lives had become unmanageable.
#2 Come to believe that a higher power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

And its harder than it looks. Meaning that I will go a few days or even weeks on plan and then get cocky and say hey, I can handle this and eat an unplanned meal then its back to rock bottom with my emotions again. Back to binge eating and beating myself up.

So no...I cant handle this alone. I will be praying everyday and I admit that I'm 100% completely powerless over food.

Im also in the middle of learning my triggers and trigger foods.

ok...gotta get ready for work. BBL :)

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