Monday, April 23, 2012

A Fighting Chance

Well, if your here for inspiration or to get a little boost in your mood I would recommend you pass right on by my blog today. There's going to be cursing and whining. I will vent a little and take out some frustration too.

So here's the thing. I'm kinda depressed today. I don't really know why, just am. Its taking every ounce energy to do just my daily task. And I'm so tired. I'm tired of working all the damn time and coming home to just work some more. I'm tired of always being on the go and never having time for myself anymore. I haven't worked out in over 4 days.  Im off work today and still no workout. I've been fighting urges to binge because I'm still up 17+lbs and for heavens sake, I don't wanna gain anymore. There is definitely a negative voice inside my head today and its over powering my happy spirit :( 

I don't like it. This is the state of mind that really scares me the most. This " I don't care " state of mind.

I keep searching for answers of why? Why do I not care anymore about what I eat and why am I not making my workouts a priority? I guess I just don't enjoy them like I used too? I used too make time and plan my workouts, they were a HUGE part of my day. I used too stick my nose up at junk food and now its all I want.  I'm around it all day...but that doesn't mean that I have to eat it. 

I've got to reset my mind here. I'm slipping into that ' I don't care' state of mind and I do care. I care a lot about how I look. Its like I have a tug of war going on inside my head. One side wants to eat and do whatever she wants and the other side knows better.  So I guess the question is...which side is stronger?

I think you all know the answer.

ok...maybe im just being a little emotional today? =P

----moving on-----

1 comment:

  1. We ALL have hard times're definitely not alone girl. I know how hard it is, but the only thing to do is just knuckle down and power through it. You're just in a funk, but you know what you ultimately want...the weight gone. And you know how to do it. Since you're having a tough time right now, you can dial down the intensity on the workouts, just don't give up entirely. Try to keep the junk out of the house. I'm less likely to drive to the store to get it if it's not already here. You deserve the best Amy. You deserve to reach all of your goals. One day at a time, one good choice at a time. I believe in you. :)


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