Saturday, January 21, 2012

Stir Me Up

My 2nd appointment with my therapist was...ok. We discussed a lot of things that had apparently been bothering me for a while, and I've been covering them up or pushing them from my mind. She stirred them up again...

Last night my mood was down. Its so obvious to me why....I don't like talking about my childhood or my past. And I told her that too. I told her that what we are talking about I haven't told anybody except my husband and it makes me uncomfortable. She said then we have progress.
My childhood was very unstable and just not a very happy time for me. And like I said, I don't like talking about it openly like that...

She wants me to do hypnosis, thats totally fine with me. I just want to get a better understanding of why all of these emotions are bothering me so much. Why does it hurt so much? Its over! In the past but yet I can't get over it? I eat when I'm stressed out. I eat when I feel any pressure or I feel the need for a hug. I eat because its an instant high...but then its an instant down.

This morning I stepped on the scale and it yelled 175. Im officially up ten lbs from my lightest weight. I feel defeated at this point. But today is a new day and I will NOT give up on me.

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