Saturday, May 14, 2011

Crawling Through the Day

Just finished Cathe's 4DS Low Impact Step + Core. I was tired before i started but now i feel...less tired...

Eating going well so far. I have my food logged in - Im drinking a ton of water today too.

My journey has slowed down to a crawl here lately, just no motivation to eat healthy. A few years ago this would have been a breeze, it was such a habit back then that i didn't think nothing of it. Now its one of the hardest things I've had to do. Right now im focusing on one day. Just ONE DAY of eating healthy...i will worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

I've got to stay positive and block out all those negative thoughts. I've got to think of my good its going to feel when I slide on those smaller jeans...

Porkchops, green beans and a baked potato is on the menu for supper. I will also have a v8 since I've only had one veggie today...then baked dorito's for a snack later.

Until tomorrow :)

I'm Not That Deep....

Friday May, 13th
So im sitting here trying to figure out why i want to eat right now when my stomach is telling me im not hungry......then there's the fact that i just ate supper, doh!

There is something bothering me of post from earlier explains a lot. I'm also feeling like a failure here lately...just because its been almost 6years and im still not at goal. Its like im scared to succeed or something? If i sit here too long and try to figure it out, i get all bored and lose interest in the subject,lol.

Saturday May, 14th
Yesterday's eating wasn't that bad. I didn't sit and eat mindlessly like I have been doing the past few days. I did eat some vanilla wafers last night and luckily there wasn't a lot left in the bag. The urge was still there, so i pulled out my Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth and started reading it again last night. It does help...I may start the writing exercises that she has listed in there. I may even make it a page on here?  But you know its weird, every time I pick up that book it feels almost like a chore? Like something my mom told me to do as a child? I'm bored before i even start reading...

Im going to try and get in a cardio + abb work today. I'm also going to scoot on over to myfitnesspal and make an attempt to log my food today.  It seems to be the easiest way to log food now that all my meals are in there.  

Friday, May 13, 2011

Soooo, Whats The Problem?

I was highly pissed off this morning. I had to practice a great deal of self control to prevent myself from STRANGLING MY HUSBAND!!!

Here's the situation: 
 I go online and check our checking account - like I do just about every morning - and im slowly scrolling down the page of my transactions and BOOM, I see it! My jaw drops and i yell at my husband...What did YOU Do? Of course he is completely OBLIVIOUS  to what im talking about until he looks at the computer screen. (which is also annoying) He then shrugs his shoulders and says Oh Yeah...I forgot about that.

Like its no big deal that 160$ is gone out of our checking account and he FORGOT to tell me about it. WTF?

To sum it up, my husband had arranged for a bill to be taken out this morning and didn't bother telling me or writing it on our "bill calender" for me to keep up with. I DON'T LIKE BILL SURPRISES!  I was so mad and I left room and cried in my bedroom. Its either do that or like I said earlier...STRANGLE HIM!

I had to go over our grocery list and cross off some things that I was planning on buying because there wasn't enough $ in the bank now thanks to his irresponsible actions. I was also planning on buying me a bathing suit and thats a no-go now too :(
He still thinks I over re-acted? What the EFFFF ever!!!!
Well...I think he's under reacting. I told him to not do crap like that anymore...urrrrr

Oh and another thing that happened this morning, I went to get groceries and when I get to the store, I realize I FORGOT MY DEBIT CARD! UGH...SHIT!

So besides that, the last two days of eating has been crappy. I've been in this 'eat what I want ' mode and its got to stop. I've also had the last two days off from my workouts. I did walk the dog yesterday but thats not really a 'workout' to me? Today I kicked my own ass with some weight lifting( CLX lean circuit 2 ) then I did the step combo's in Cathe's Step Blast. Great, sweaty workout.....just what I needed.....


Wednesday, May 11, 2011

3 Days Off - Yay!

My hours at work have been cut back again (around 20hours, the past three weeks have been 34hours a week)...and im kinda glad for the time being because im exhausted! Got the next three days off and I have every intention of getting in some good workouts and some cleaning around here :) The last two days have been rest days so i should have some good energy tomorrow.

Eating is going good...up until today. Had a few things out of the ordinary...but nothing crazy. I will get back on track tomorrow. Still not counting calories...just trying to stay away from all the junk and only a small snack after supper. I tried counting calories in my new notebook but i just get so bored with it all. I guess im just going to take a break from it for awhile...

 I have my yearly exam with my GYN Friday morning and I plan on discussing those horrible symptoms with her. Hopefully she can prescribe something that can calm me down during that time.

Have a great night :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Time To Make The Donuts!

Yep...I'm up at 3:29 in the morning to go make donuts. I have a love/hate relationship with this shift. Love the fact that I get off at 11:30 and the whole day is mine....but hate the fact that i have to make myself go to bed early the night before (which -btw, is never early enough)

Yesterday's workout was CLX Burn Intervals. I was pretty tired all day so im proud of myself for getting it in...

Not sure if I will get in a workout today or not. Im scheduled to do CLX Lean Circuit 2 but on my donuts days my energy after work is ify...I know im going to lay in the sun.

Eating going well! ~ This morning I weighed 167 :)

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Feeling Alot Better

Its amazing how much of a relief can come when, for us women, we see our montly visotor visit. I'm not talking about  a chance at being pregnant...I'm talking about it being here then LEAVING. For the past two months ive kept a log of my 'feelings and emotions'. And it seem the first week of every month I turn into this completely evil witch!!!

Then as fast as it goes when I start my cycle.

On the agenda today: Chalean - lean circuit 1 and if im feeling up to it some cardio after.

AND today is also another start on logging my food. My new shiny PURPLE notebook is already for me to log my breakfast ....have a great day and HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

August check-in

Morning, Are you having a good day? I hope you can say 'yes I am' cause I'm always having a good day when I'm not at work....