Thursday, July 28, 2011

Broke Down

I decided to get on the treadmill yesterday around 5:30, right before supper. Did a run interval and for some reason a sad song came on (stop and start by one republic) and I kinda broke down and started crying. I don't want to be bipolar II. I had a moment of mixed emotions, mad for having the disorder then I felt sorry for myself which alerted the inner soldier to start kicking my butt. I ran hard and fast.

I've been thinking alot lately about the past, just trying to remember any particular moments when I may have been in a mania state. The depression has always been lingering slightly but the mania isn't something I remember until it dawned on me. Oh yeah, I remember that day...i was so hyper and happy - in a state of euphoria.

I think the most important thing for me is to realize is that the disorder doesn't describe me. Its not going to be who I am, I may have to take medication for it but then thats it. Im not going to obsess about how I feel everyday.
Im Amy, a 33 year old mother of two wonder kids and a wife to an amazing husband. I like spending my time with my family. I have over come many challenges in my life and  this disorder is just that - another challenge:)

ok, time to get ready for work. I'm working the morning shift today so I will have the evening with my babies.

edit to add: Lowmax by Cathe done. I did a premix : intervals 4-7 and boy did it burn my legs :D . Fun workout and a great sweat!

1 comment:

  1. No shame in getting help. This is not normal and help is good! I spent 2 years on antidepressants. Then when I had my son, I dealt with PPD. Lexapro to the rescue there!

    *hugs* I'm glad you are talking with someone. You are strong Amy. You can beat this too.


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