Friday, June 24, 2011

The B*tchy Blahs

...its the only way I can describe how I felt yesterday and this morning. (men, look away) Time of month is very, very close and this is how I feel when it approaches. Just generally NOT myself. Im bitchy, snappy, moody, things get on my nerves A LOT easier during these cursed couple of days. And its extremely hard to even care about what im eating...much less count calories. My cravings are crazy and are so hard to push off...

I've come to terms with this P.M.S crap. I use to think there was something wrong with me, like maybe I was going through some kind of depression, but I've come to the conclusion that its just 'how I feel' about a week before my period. Really sucks too because i work in a bakery and its really hard to control myself around all the yummy treats. I will sometimes be literally DROOLING as I box donuts LOL.. I find that if i just keep myself busy (the boss likes this too, LOL) i can avoid eating until I leave. I love my job, honestly...I do.

But...

Yesterday SUCKED! I get to work at 2:30 and the list of things that I had to do was overwhelming. I was already in a b*tchy blah mood and now I have to work like a fickin field hound, sigh. Towards the end of the night i felt a little better until my dad calls me up and says he can't pick up my brother because his headlights went out on his car...i was frustrated again. I had to drive my brother home after work...ARG

My brother watches my kids while I work. I have to pay him..it isn't much BUT my husband has to pick him up and, sometimes, ( like yesterday) I have to drop him back off at his house, and the with the way gas prices are, it just seems not very fair to us.

Anyways. After dropping off my brother at his house, coming home and getting the kids in the bath, cleaning up the kitchen (because my darling husband left it a complete MESS) i get ready for bed and THEN i get bored and want to eat.  Between 9pm and up until i go to bed are the hardest times for me. Im bored, relaxing and want to eat. I tell myself last night "you deserve to make yourself something, you worked so hard today" and guess what...I didn't disagree. Totally sabotaged my whole day yesterday with that stupid meal.I ate two Hebrew national (40 calorie) hotdogs on whole wheat bread with turkey chili and cheese on top. Yep...totally pigged out. :o

Last night is a prime example of WHY im stuck at a size 10/12.

Today I plan on forgetting about yesterday, getting back on my 1500-1600 calories and I plan on doing some damage control with a cathe step workout. I need to burn off those 500 or so calories that I ate yesterday. Need to balance it out. I got back on track Wednesday so one day isn't going to hurt me. Today will be a good day :)

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