I've had to do a lot of soul searching the past few days. There are some things that I can't explain, emotions I still can't explain, but there is one thing that I can not deny...I'm not happy at my current weight. That is the one that that is unmistakable right now. That is my solid ground. My foundation. I'm NOT happy at my weight and why should i go on being unhappy?
Last night we went to a ball game and I allowed myself to eat a double cheeseburger and split a fry with my husband, it was delicious and when those thoughts came " I shouldn't be eating this, i don't deserve to eat this' I pushed them out of my head. I'm tired of beating myself up over food. I was at a base ball game, alone with my husband and eating there is part of the experience...may sound like an excuse, but so be it. I knew I was going to a baseball game yesterday so I didn't eat much before hand. Maybe 700 calories.
I had a good time. The Atlanta Braves beat the Houston Astro's 3-2!!
My sister, one of those freaks that gets to eat anything she wants and never gains weight, she doesn't workout and doesn't drink water....she suggested that I simply say " Food will always be there, take care of yourself right now" every time i have an urge! Every time i feel like i have to eat something, a gentle reminder that it won't be going anywhere. And wow..it gave me so much power!
Today is another day!
I'm going to forget about yesterday and the past :)
On the agenda today
CLX lean circuit 3 and I may get on the treadmill and get in a nice power walk or run interval. Will see. Later on in the day I have work.
Update on Therapy
I found a Over Eaters Anonymous meeting for Tuesdays that is close by. I have to work tonight or I would attend but I plan on going next Tuesday. I'm gong to try this first before I go to a therapist. :)
Have a great day :)