No more turning to food, im sick of it! From now on I will come on here, read a book or get my mind busy doing something else! Yesterday's food binge or compulsive eating was just that...yesterday's past. No more thinking about it. This issue that I have isn't stronger than me. I KNOW im a strong women! Its just going to take time..and a whole lot of effort on my part. I've got to stay committed to this if im EVER going to be COMPLETELY happy with myself. I love myself but im not comfortable at this weight. I deserve to be happy. Im the only one that can do this. Today's post is entitled Day #1 and its all im focusing on right now...TODAY.
I called the OA adviser (or whatever his title is?) today to confirm the OA meeting tuesday. He was nice and told me where the meetings where and when. I also found out that there are 4people in the group. WOW..only 4 people? Thats a very small group? But I will go and see what happens..if I don't like-I don't have to go back right? So the first group meeting is this tuesday.
I JUST told my kids that they could go swimming in the pool, i said OK and also said i was going to make my supper because i was starving. Then my Mother in law said "again?" I said "I didn't realize i was eating so much?" she didn't say anything after that. If she didn't mean it that way then she should have said exactly how she meant it? She knows I use to be very heavy and im sensitive about my weight. I've confided in her about the OA meetings (her showing very little interest BTW). I haven't ate bad at all today, my calories for the day are at 1500...WTF is her problem? I honestly don't care. We have never really been close and I've always thought she was a bitter person anyway. SO THERE!
My kids have drove me NUTS over that damn pool today. Every five minutes "mommy, can we go out and swim?" is all i heard. I told them to GO. NOW! The pool is 3ft deep so not over there heads but I still have to watch them...and its boring to sit by the pool and watch them...but thats my job.
anyways...today was a rest day. No workout. My body was tired anyway and i was struggling to keep the house clean with the kids home. MY GOSH I WISH THEY WERE IN SCHOOL and I don't care if that makes me a bad mother..its the way I feel. Its hard taking care of them all day with my husband asleep in the other room. He works night-shift, i love his job but i truly hate his hours.