Friday, April 29, 2011

Is there a magic # ?

Why  am I so obsessed with being perfect? For the last few days now i have been trying to take it easy on myself. I mean SO WHAT if im not counting calories? ( and im sure everyone will agree with me on this) But  you can't expect to count calories for the rest of your life? Its too maddening. I haven't counted calories in a least a week or so (thats a long time for me,lol) and you know what? I don't feel bad. The past three days i quit eating after supper and i feel great about that! But why do I constantly obsess about food? This obsession takes up entirely too much of my time, my thinking and my focus.

If you have read my history then you know I've been doing this (calories counting, exercise, eating healthier)  for over 5yrs now and I'm proud to say, I've been very successful at my weight loss so far. I haven't gained any back. But i haven't reached my magic # yet...and my mind tells me to keep losing weight but my body is fighting me like a kungFu Master. I look in the mirror and I kinda like what I see with clothes on...but with clothes off I'm not happy :(  Im trying to notice the positives of my body. Like I notice how my shape is changing with the heavy weight lifting.

Why can't I find a happy medium? If I eat something 'bad' then i beat myself up, if im good all day im looking for something 'bad' to eat...WTH? It just seems i need to stop thinking so much about food...kinda back off the subject for a while and just eat when im hugnry. Its GOT to be that simple.  I know now what to eat and how much of why do I still obsess? Its my addiction...and its so hard to stop.

anyways...i hope this all makes sense :/

Yesterday my workout kicked major bootie. I started CLX Lean circuit 1 then did Cathe's LIC cardio blast premix or whatever its called (lol) then did lic abbs. Had a nice sweat fest. I LOVE the feeling after doing wieghts too...its like a constant burn. Not a muscle burn but a metobolism burn. I feel my furnace moving at full force! LOVE IT.

Today Im off work...and im taking it easy. Im sure a workout will happen sometime today..but not now. I may go out and look at yard sales :) Have a great weekend...


  1. I definitely understand feeling like the constant calorie counting can be obsessive. You have been very successful, though! I'm taking a break from counting calories (but still eating the same way I would if I were counting) and I'm losing weight! I think it's good to take a break from counting every once in a while.

  2. Hey! I gave up calorie counting. It worked for me while I used it, but I am much happier just eating healthy portions on my own. I'm sure I have some higher-cal days, but I have lots of higher-happy days, too. :)

    I hope your struggle eases up soon, mama. Keep fighting!


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