Saturday, April 02, 2011

A Funky Town Drug Of Choice

Well, I was hoping that I would wake up this morning and be over this fog of funk im in. But im not. I call it funk but what it really is PMS/ slight depression. I find it hard to smile when I feel like this. It always happens right before my period. I'm very angry and get frustrated easily,  I just want to eat junk. Its weird though, some months are worse than others. I don't remember feeling this bad last month...

Yesterday night was another small binge. I did great up until after supper. Then i just threw my hands in the air becuase the inner child - in my head - was just too much...it wanted the kids cheese pizza then some cookies.

anyways, thats were it started...but ended with me going over my calories about 1200 calories :(

And whats worst is the feeling of failure when I woke up this morning.  My first thought was  I'm going to gain weight if i don't pull the breaks on this behavior.

Its so hard people. I'm a food addict. Food is my drug of choice...and believe me, ive tried just about all of them. And I wish i could just quit my drug of choice like I did with all those others..cold turkey. Buts its not that simple, is it.

So if your reading this blog for the first time and your wondering whats the effing big deal, you went over calories a few days....well, in the land of food addicts - it IS an EFFING big deal. Its like a crack head on the road to recovery having a relapse.

ok...I'm going to take my funky town, drug addict ass off the computer, force myself to get dressed in my workout close and do some Cathe Friedrich Step Moves. Maybe she can light my inner fire today =P Cause I know I've got one....somewhere.....

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there, Amelia. I'm cheering you on. You can do it.

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  2. You have been doing so well! I'm sorry to hear about the recent binges, mama. I keep going through the same thing. This is so freaking hard, isn't it? We're going to keep on truckin'.

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Thanks for reading!!