Friday, April 01, 2011

The Day After

Of course this vent is about food. The very thing that I struggle with since admitting I've had a problem . 95% of the time I'm great at eating healthy, staying on track with my exercises. And for goodness sake people, I work at a bakery where yummy treats pass through my hands daily! I have yet to eat while at work. Its a huge deal to me to like my finger if i get butter cream icing on it, or if a cookie doesn't turn out just right I immediately throw it away. I have a NO EATING policy while at work.

 It's that other 5% that scares the hell out of me.

The Other 5% Story
It was 2:30 in the afternoon yesterday and I was on my way to this fantastic little hole-in-the-wall restaurant  that is a good 15minute ride from my house. And just some info on this restaurant; they have the most amazing cheeseburgers that I've ever tasted. We don't eat there alot because of what i just said - there cheeseburgers are freakin' delicious.
I was going there to pick up an order i just called in ~ A spur-of-the-moment kind of decision, and of course, i was the instigator in that decision. I acted on a craving, something i try not to do im living with that decision, along with a stomach ache from the icecream and cupcake I attacked after words. (among other things )
I could sit here all day and try to figure out WHY i sabotage myself like that, why i just didn't walk into the kitchen and drink some water or chew gum or do something to simply take my mind of it. I know my body pretty well, and when i feel like this - its  because of the dreaded monthly visitor. It's lurking very near and my hormones are crazy. I always crave junk right before it hits. Sometimes I give in....sometimes I don't. I gave in yesterday big time.
I've also learned that the scale doesn't move at all, before -while- and about week after the monthly visitor is here. I think that's why I went all out yesterday, i knew I could ' get away with it' in my own little warped way of thinking.

Anyways, I basically had a slow going binge for most of the afternoon yesterday. I even took a hot bath to try and change my mood....didn't work.

Today I will have to pull out all my guns, all my tricks, all the things that have made me successfully in this healthier way of living - I've fallen off the wagon and I will have to get back on it again. Today I WILL get back on it again :)

I will also get in CLX push circuit one, along with some Cathe step aerobics...i need some high intensity cardio to burn off  some junk...teehee and maybe it will get me out of this funk im in. And if it doesn't....i don't give myself permission to eat junk again.

1 comment:

  1. aww i totally feel you! totm is the hardest time to stay on track. you can do it though. i know it's hard but everyone has their slip ups. as long as you get over that 1 binge and dont set yourself up for another one, you will be ok! have you tried planning your meals the night before, down to the snacks, and logging them into myfitnesspal before you eat anything? i tried that last week when it was my totm and it helped a lot; seeing the #s flat out like that before i ate anything really made me think twice about what i could & couldnt get away with.


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