I woke up in a very bad mood yesterday. Just hating the world and everything in it. I felt a little better when i woke my kids up for school and made them breakfast. They're like little rays of sunshine in my life- always smiling and happy- but then they were on the bus, taking with them my sunshine.
As I was waving good-bye, I thought "mmm, what am I going to do today?" and then that feeling came back. That bored, I-don't-have-a-job-feeling! I let out a big sigh and proceeded to my online food diary to log my breakfast. I struggle with food so much, its such a pain in the ass to count calories. I hate it with a passion. I think thats why i struggle so much, i have been doing it for so long time and feel burned out.
So after logging and eating my breakfast, an hour later I was washing dishes and noticed the sun was shinning bright! So, i got my walking shoes on and walked my Cassie girl for a while. Cassie's from a dog pound, she was a puppy when we adopted her about 7yrs ago. She's a mix lab who weighs 80lbs and thinks she can fit in my lap.
Anyways, I walked her for about 45mins. It was SO BEAUTIFUL outside, about 54degree's with clear skies. The sun is such a powerful life-giving force, just being in it gives you energy! When i got home i did some yoga and felt even better. I was sweating and smiling at the same time!
After getting out of the shower i logged my lunch and afternoon snack, started laundry and then I was bored again. That feeling was coming back...so I called a friend. And shortly after that my hubby wakes up, he works nights so he tends to sleep late. He's another ray of sunshine in my life. This April it will be 10yrs of marriage, and we have enjoyed every minute of it. So anyways, he wakes up and the kids are home and I'm busy again. I don't have time to think.
Ever-since my last job back in November I've noticed something about myself. I need to keep busy to be completely happy. I hate staying at home every day and doing the same old things. Its boring! So, while talking to my friend yesterday she told me about some jobs that are possible hiring/accepting applications. So after my morning workout-which im fixing to start now - im heading there.
Something else I discovered about myself is even when im down, sad & discouraged i stop and think of ways to feel better. I don't want to sound like a horses-butt here but I'm so proud of that inner drive. I have to remember that even if my kids are gone to school, even if my hubby is asleep and I'm alone with my thoughts, I can still shine all my by myself! It just takes that effort, that little push to start -that's the hard part.
Have a good day fellow bloggers =)