First off - my kids have been home all week stuck inside the house because of that D@MN SNOW. Atlanta just isn't prepared at all for snow. I spent most of the day yesterday breaking up arguments and listening to whining and meanwhile Im about a block away from looneyvillee and that leads me to the next subject....
I just got a call back about the job and they want a second interview today. Im VERY excited but at the same time I've got to pull-it-together, mentally, for this interview. I woke up in a very bad mood. I get like this when where broke. There isn't a lot of healthy food in the house, no fresh produce and i find if i don't eat my fruits and veggies i just don't feel right :(
Luckily DH gets paid tomorrow so we can get out and restock. but what a TOUGH week this has been!!
I've been doing some soul searching lately (SCARY, I know) Those late night urges are back and there STRONG. I've been giving into them, and when i do - i feel like such a failure. Every single time i give into them it seems like 'they' gain power? I'm not even hungry? I just stuff myself with whatever is in the kitchen and i seem to stop when i get that very full feeling which - to me- indicates im trying to comfort something that is deeper. What exactly - i haven't' a clue? Ive basicly faced all my demons in the past and I'm over them. I wish i could afford to go to a shrink -seriously- i would in a heart beat!
I agree with a reply from last week about it being food addition. Why am i still suffering from this when I've lost so much weight? In that moment of failure i feel as if my fire inside is dwindling - and its scary as hell - I have GOT to figure out how to light it again. I can workout until the cows come home but if i don't get these urges under control those workouts are useless. (well there keeping my body strong, not totally useless)
My first thought is to get all the junk out of the house! Nothing tempting here at all . At least until i can control myself around it. No sweets, no sugary cereal, no frozen crap (like those gorton's fish fillets...OMGod soo good) - so you basically get my drift! And since were almost out of food, that shouldn't be hard, LOL. DH and the kids will have to just get over it! Besides, if mommy isn't happy - then no one is - Am I right ladies? :-P
Later in the day....after the interview.....
Well, went to the 2nd interview and after dealing with the icy roads to get my butt up there I was kinda disappointed to be asked the same questions as the first interview. Except this time is was the GM of the company doing it along with another women who he failed to introduce. After all was said and done they said that they would - keep in touch with me.
As I was leaving i sat in the car and asked myself "Mmmm,K, So do i have the job or not? Good grief I'm sick of being left hanging like this!"
sooooo, i guess if they don't call me then i ...don't have it?
Anyways...maybe I need to do some kickbox in addition to my step aerobics today? I remember when i was little my brother had a punching bag and boy did i beat the hell out of that thing a lot. Not sure where one would go here?
What i really need is a glass of Merlot...