Thursday, October 21, 2010

Breaking Bad Habits

Good Grief what has gotten into me lately? I've allowed some bad habits to sneak back in my life. Eating at night. :-( .

Monday i just gave in all together, Tuesday i did an awesome job,  yesterday was great up until about 8pm....thats when all hell breaks loose.....

I was watching survivor with my kids and i wanted something sweet. So, instead of chewing gum like i would normally do, I got up with every intention of eating small snack.  I start digging around in the cabinet and couldn't find anything. (Earlier that day i told my DD to throw out the leftover cake and since they didn't like the animal cookies i told her to give them to the dogs...and THANK GOODNESS or that would have been in my mouth at that moment!) Back to the story, so i was digging around and thought "oh, peanut butter!" (this is when it turns ugly) So instead of weighing the pb, i scoop out the high calorie dense gooey goodness in huge spoonfuls on a slice of whole wheat bread and literally shoved it into my mouth! WTH? Why did i do that? I measured everything yesterday (as i always do) and I don't measure this pb sandwich? Well the damage didn't end there...i also when back for another sandwich, this time a single fish fillet (gordons) with a small amount of tatar sauce on hamburger buns. I found a small amount of cocoa crispies left in the cabinet and munched on them while watching tv.

I will call it what it was; a binge. Smaller than usual though, binges in the old days were close to 3000 calories or more. Yesterdays was less than a third of that..

I can't help but wonder what made me cave in monday and yesterday? I pondered this while laying in bed this morning.
Im kinda stressed right now about finding a job. Frustrated because i've had to turn down jobs that didn't coincide with my families schedule. Im sure the excuses could go on forever...but thats just what they are; excuses. I came to the conclusion that i've simply allowed a nasty habit to over-power me! Those late night munchies are hard to break...but ive done it before and by george i will do it again! Thats the thing with little inner light might go out for just a moment, but a torch comes back in its place!  I don't give up on me. (I hope I didn't sound like a horses ass just now :o)

Oh and i got rid of that annoying daily reminder of how many calories i need to eat everyday. I already write down everything I eat and sometimes i don't exactly stick to a certain amount, as long as I keep it at a range between 1350-1800 I should be good! Just gotta keep those urges under control.

Yay, I finished my workout! I had ZERO motivation today for some reason. I did a 30 minute power walk then 30mins of Legs & Glutes (a heavy weight lifting DVD by Cathe) then the abb section on another of Cathe's workouts...KPC. 

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