It's 1:30 in the morning and all is quiet. As I type this my wrist is resting on something sticky, probably pancake syrup from my sons relentless habit of eating at the computer even though he knows better not too.
I'm on here because I feel I need to share some feelings I'm having. This blog is about me, my journey,,, and so far I can't complain. In most people's eyes I have it all. A wonderful family, a fairly decent job and well, our bills get paid so all is good. But since gaining almost all the weight that I've lost back, I'm feeling a cross roads approaching. I know I have to make a choice and it's got to be soon while I'm still considered 'healthy' (no BP problems, no cholesterol probs. no diabetes). The only thing I suffer from is a mental disorder (anxiety/depression) and well, that's all in my head and guess who's the pilot of this plane...me.
I'm tired all the time now, I get out of breath really easy. It's hard to do simple things like tying my shoes, getting up off the floor and well, this might be too much information but whiping my @ss is getting harder every day. sorry, my mom always told me I can be too outspoken.
A clip from the My Story page.
" I LOVE life! I think that was my breaking point, my kids and husband are my whole world and I knew i had to make a change or else be miserable the rest of my 'short' life and make theirs miserable too. I was going through life pretending to be happy, when i was not; you can only pretend so long before its starts eating away at you!"
It's eating away at me and I'm so exhausted from pretending. I'm not happy with myself anymore. I want more out of life and the only way is too take care of myself. My health has got to come first. I know its a weird time of the year to start making changes but I did. I started today. I ate a little less then what I would normally eat. It's the little changes that can contribute into a huge success.