Saturday, September 20, 2014

Saturday Update

Morning

I'm happy to be off today with my husband ( who is also off) and my kids but at the same time I'm a little frustrated. We were suppose to go to six flags but my husband fell off his bike yesterday and hurt his big toe ( its swelled up and he's limping) and he can't really walk a lot. So no six flags :( We will find something else to do.

I didn't sleep very good last night, I kept waking up with a very tight chest and had to use the kids nebulizer ( breathing treatment machine). It was a pain in the butt - I think I woke up twice to use it.  We painted our room yesterday so I guess thats what provoked it. Anyways, I woke up with a huge headache this morning.

Yesterday I had two slices of pizza and 5 chicken wings. The day before that I went over my calories about 600 calories so today's goal is to get back on plan. It's hard though, specially since im in a grumpy mood and food seems to make my grumpies go away, but in reality it doesn't - its a vicious cycle.
 But I will do it...I owe it to myself.

But on the bright side I did do very well this week. 4 days at 1700 calories, 5 days of cardio, mostly walking and one bike ride. And it feels good. I just have to keep going with less indulging if I want to see some results. I know the drill LOL.

ok... have a great Saturday =)




Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I Wanted Pizza!!

Morning, I got about 5 minutes for a quick update before getting the kids up for school.

So after work I had a really bad craving for pizza. Man I wanted some bad. But instead I stuck to my guns and ate what was already in my diary...and I took a really hot shower LOL. Well, it worked. The craving passed =) My calories were around 1700.

Today is day #3 of logging and walking. I met my friend yesterday at a local high school to walk for 30 minutes and boy did it feel good afterwards. We're doing it again tonight.

ok, later

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I Logged One Whole Day...

... and I stayed under my calories!! I got to admit, it feels good!

I also got off my rump and walked for 30 mins with my kids, they love walking with me. And it benefits them too.

Today is day #2

I went through some of my smaller close that are tucked away in my closet yesterday, just as a reminder on why I'm doing this. It works...I want to and will wear them one day.


Saturday, September 13, 2014

Saturday Night Check-In

Hello,

Its 10pm at night and guess who doesn't has to work tomorrow?

 Yeah-uh huh, >>>>this Girl<<<<

Whoot, whoot * fist pump

My hubby is taking a paid day off tomorrow so the whole family will be together. Its going to be nice to wake up without an alarm clock ;)

So about the other day, I know my post was a little intense. Now that I read it over again ( in a calmer state of mind) I see that I was being really hard on myself. I see that now. The only thing I can say is thats me. I tend to get caught up in that negative thought process and it consumes me. It's something I'm working on.

I did go to that weight loss clinic but they wouldn't prescribe me any medication. I was kinda shocked too! The doctor said that the medication may interact with my medication and he doesn't recommend it. Wow, I figured they would go ahead and give it to me anyway...guess I was wrong. My husband said that it 'was a sign' that I shouldn't take anything. Perhaps he's right.

While I was eating lunch today, I was talking to one of my co-workers at work. We agreed to start meeting at a local walking track and walking for 30 minutes.  We are starting this Monday. Maybe we can motivate each other.

I've still got countless workout dvd's, all my dumbbells and weights. I still have The Total Gym and various exercise equipment.
Its all waiting on me to get inspired. The day will come when it happens again.
And I can't wait to share it with you guys.

Have a good night.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Feeling Lost Again =(

Morning,

I know I've said all of this before but I'm having a moment here. This post may be a lot for folks to take in so thanks for reading.

I just feel so overwhelmed with my weight at this point that I feel lost. I honestly don't know what to do. Every time I try to count calories I fail, every time I say im going to start exercising again I fail, and meanwhile I'm slowly gaining more weight.

After looking at the Weight Watcher site I started talking to my husband about it. He reminded me that I did WWers twice before and would get frustrated with the whole point system and give up. ( but he said if I wanted to try it again that he didn't care, he will be supportive) Then I went on myfitnesspal ( a calorie counting website) and announced that I was starting again on there yesterday and I didn't even make it one day. I went to work and got stressed out and ended the day with a 4 servings pint of ben & jerry's ice cream. =(

Yesterday afternoon I made an appointment to a new weight loss clinic that I haven't been too. The cost is 69$ for your visit and thats including medication. Even now as I sit here I am trying to talk myself out of it. I don't know if I will go or not?
I went and looked up all the prescription strength medications on the market for weight loss and none of them sound good. They all have ridiculous side effects. I'm scared they will interact with the medications I'm on now. And something tells me that the doctors at this weight loss clinic will prescribe them to me even if I express my concerns with them. They just want my $.

So now I'm considering contacting my doctor (psychiatrist ) to ask him how to slowly come off my medications because I feel there making me gain weight again. Even though I feel emotionally stable and myself, I also think they are taking the motivation out of me.
 He will want me to come in and I just can't afford 47$ right now for him (even though I really like him and feel he understands me). But my insurance has changed and I don't get 30 mins with him anymore...just 15 and thats not long enough for a long discussion.

I feel confused, overwhelmed and sad. I don't know what to do =(  Maybe I'm having a panic attack or something? IDK

Thanks for reading

Monday, September 08, 2014

I Don't Want to Take a Diet Pill

Good Morning,

This post is the same old song and dance, Here it goes....


1) I'm fat and need to lose weight
2) I've lost motivation to exercise
3) I'm eating whatever I want too

I feel out of control. So again, I started looking into local weight loss clinics for a quick fix. Then I started reading all the side effects again. I came to the conclusion that it just isn't worth it.

Weight Watchers is doing a promotion right now. You get a free started kit when you do the monthly pass - I think thats the wiser choice here.

ok, gotta scoot. Just sharing my thoughts this morning.

Sunday, September 07, 2014

Sunday Update 9/7/14

Morning,

I'm off today, thank goodness, and enjoying my coffee. The kids are excited that I'm off too. They keep asking me to take them to the park, so I guess we will be heading there later.

So today im getting back on the wagon, once more. I plan on eating healthy and getting in a good sweat. But first I'm going to clean my kitchen good, its getting on my nerves.

Tomorrow I plan on getting up early for a workout before work. I want to do this at least 4 days a week. I don't care if I'm tired. I will not hit the snooze button. I will lay out my clothes and have my breakfast/lunch ready the night before.
 It will work!! I will make this work again. There are hundreds of thousands of women across the globe that workout early...I will be one of them. And heck, who knows...maybe when I make this a focused habit I can start tapering off my antidepressant. My workouts will be my medication :-)

And speaking of antidepressant, i'm starting to wonder if maybe the wellbutrin im taking is affecting my willpower/determination? I am pretty laid back these days, nothing seems to bother me.

ok, just checking in.