Thursday, October 01, 2015

It's been a while

Good Morning,

I can't believe it's October 1st already? Where does the time go? Being the first of October the weather feels more like august here in Ga...ugh.

I'm up sipping on my weak coffee I made, I guess I need to take the time to measure out my coffee instead of dumping it in. Mmmmm.

So this past Tuesday I felt kinda bad all day. Just sad about my weight (it's always about my weight, sigh) I didn't do much but lay around on the couch and of course eat. I went to work later that night and thought about it for most of the night. I'm kinda feeling lost about it lately. But I know I will wake up one day and get serious again.

Friday, September 18, 2015

It's Been Ten Days!


I got 5 minutes before I have to leave.

So its been 10 days since my last post and I'm feeling a whole lot better about my new job. My depression has lifted a little too. The old me is emerging.

I started walking yesterday and told myself that I need too exercise after work everyday ( maybe one day off a week). The last time ( couple months ago) I started getting healthy I focused on my eating and it didn't work....this time I'm taking baby steps on my eating and focusing on exercise.

Guys I did a Jessica smith tv 32 minute walk yesterday and I was breathing so hard! I'm out of shape but it doesn't surprise me, lol. I was having a hard time keeping up with her.
I checked my weight this morning and I'm at my heaviest since 2006,.... 253lbs

I'm going to do my best to not go any heavier than that. When I say 'baby steps' towards my eating I'm cutting back on sweets and fried food. When I get comfortable with that I will maybe add more veggies in.

5 minutes is up

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Quick Update

Hey guys,

I went to see my old doctor today, I say 'old' because its the same one I've been seeing on and off for over 4 years now. He's nice and he works with me on the co-pay.

I told him about my little episode last week. I also told him that my depression is back. It isn't bad but it's there. We both agreed that I needed to go back on medication. So tomorrow I start back on sertraline (generic for zoloft). It will take a few weeks for it to take effect.

I just want to feel better, that's all. I mean for the most part I'm very happy...I just get anxious and I have a hard time dealing with it. And I feel like I don't have to deal with it if there is medication, Why put myself through it?

So that's that.

Sunday, September 06, 2015

Breaking The Mold

Hey Folks,

I'm feeling pretty good right now, I just finished a workout. YEP, YOU READ RIGHT! First workout in over 3 months. I did a 2 mile power walk with a Leslie Sansone walking dvd.

I thought about working out for a while now but today I just did it.

Tomorrow I just might might do it again.

Stay tuned......

Saturday, September 05, 2015

Saturday Update


Last night we went to a local high school football game and it was fun, hot but fun. My daughter plays in marching band there and she has a good time. I was nice to do something different. I just wish I didn't have to work on Saturdays, ugh.

So on my last post I was talking about being anxious. Well this past Thursday wasn't a good day at all. I was emotional and just a mental mess. My mind kept racing and I just couldn't concentrate. I was kinda panicky too. My emotions were all over the place...I honestly felt like going home but I didn't. I stayed and rode it out.
 I talked to the girl I work with and she understood. She asked me if I didn't like it anymore. I said I did it's just going to take some getting use too and I told her I'm going to the doctors this coming up Tuesday and I'm hoping to be put on some medications that will help me emotionally. I've mentioned to her before about my anxiety disorder so she seemed to take it pretty well.

Later on in the day Thursday I ran into a co-worker who I used to talk to when I had problems in the Bakery. She's a little bit older than me and has anxiety issues too. She told me to go to the doctor because there is no shame in it and ask for something. My eye's filled up with tears when I was talking to her ( that's how upset I was). She told me exactly what I needed to hear and I felt better.

Despite the emotional week I had I I was able to resist a lot of junk food cravings. Still no workout, which I know would make me feel a lot better. Maybe I can bring myself to workout today after work.

Well, it's time for me to get ready for work now. I already got my breakfast packed...I just need to get something together for lunch.

Have a great weekend (:

Thursday, September 03, 2015

Just Anxious


Ever since I started my new job I've been anxious on and off. It's starting to get on my nerves a little bit. The symptoms include : racing thoughts, muscle tenseness, small mood swings, some depression and a little paranoia.

I made an appointment last month to go see my doctor this coming up Tuesday...sigh. As much as I hate to admit I may have to go back on an antidepressant again. I can't seem to stay off the things? I quit taking Wellbutrin back in March or April of this year thinking I was done with them.

It sucks when you have to depend on medication for well being. And I'm trying to figure out what he's going to prescribe? I've been on Zoloft and I remember it making me feel slight sedated all the time. But for some reason it sticks out the most out of all the medication I have tried for anxiety. I don't remember it being bad, except for when I weaned myself off it.

I don't know. We will see Tuesday.

And you know at first the doctor's receptionist said that he didn't see adults anymore? I was like "but I just quit seeing him this year?" I tell ya, my heart almost stopped! I don't want to start over with a new doctor? wth? I guess the receptionist got the 'ok' from the doctor to make an appointment with me.

Anyways, today I'm just going to focus on getting through the day and ways to relax after work. I want to workout after work...I will come back on here and update if I do.

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Day 1 Went Well

Morning, well it's my morning because today is my 3rd shift day. So Good Morning(:

Today is also the first day of my lifestyle challenge! I did really good today. We went to waffle house and I chose wisely, had sugar free syrup on my waffle and a side order of bacon = 500 calories. Lunch was a sandwich with some grapes. Popcorn was a snack and supper was some lean meat chili + crackers. I'd say I did pretty well. I wasn't very hungry today and I ate better then I did yesterday. I bought some veggies yesterday along with some more fruit for snacks.

Tonight starts day #2. It's tricky at night because I have to count it as the next I have to be careful. I plan on eating a banana around 3 am and drinking some water. I will eat some breakfast when I get off at 7am.

Something keeps holding me back from working out? Perhaps it's the thought of knowing that its something that I have to do once I start? lol, doesn't that sound stupid? Why would I put off something that is going to benefit me in the long run? I just have to plan it out, that's all.

anyways, time to head off to work.